Ever want to say exactly what you think? Me too.
Today I find myself unable to react to the madness that has become the new normal in the world beyond my doorstep. The lava flow encroaches. I experience a surge of anxiety. Each keystroke reveals some raw emotion that gets edited out so that I can pretend everything is fine, even for an hour. I don’t crave drama. My threshold for outrage today, however, was when “Pictures of You” (The Cure) was interrupted by an ad for Shutterfly and “Bittersweet Symphony” (The Verve) got cut off by an ad for Grammarly. Seriously, as I typed these words, YouTube paused the music for an ad to “help me write clear and mistake free sentences”. AI is gaslighting me. I could download the soundtrack of my despair for $1.29 each on iTunes or just settle for whatever SiriusXM has curated based on my recent Google search or Amazon purchase or fleeting thought.
The air outside this morning was thick and delicious. Aromas sweet and earthy infused every breath with memories of what the world was like before the heat of a million menopausal moments
made me despise every guru, life coach, humble bragger, pundit, and public nuisance on social media incinerated my best effort not to criticize, condemn, or complain. This is what happens when you realize your tribe is only your tribe as long as you pay your monthly membership fee become a cranky old lady still in her bathrobe at 3 in the afternoon, surfing the internet for signs of life.