Honie Briggs

Seriously!

It came to me in my sleep, as many fantastic ideas do, that I should give myself an extra challenge and try to come up with a story without first seeing this week’s Friday Fictioneer prompt. Fortunately for me, the 100 words I chose were easy to manipulate to match the photo provided courtesy of Al Forbes.

Telling stories without having all of the information is all the rage these days. We’ve come a long way, Baby, since “I cannot tell a lie” evolved into “who am I to say what is true.” Those for whom facts are important haven’t gone the way of the Dodo. We are still holding out hope for the truth, the whole truth, instead of fractured fairy tales.

…And now here’s something I hope you really like!

al_forbes

Copyright Al Forbes

This Just In: Santa Claus Is Dead

A flurry of activity to pass the Calendar Reinvention Act has ended in tragedy. Efforts to halt climate change debates and modernize the names of months have taken from us a beloved icon.

Upon hearing the Christmas season would begin five months earlier, in renamed Trumtober, Santa Claus went into cardiac arrest. Doctors tried to revive him, but a future where summer is winter and February becomes Penruary was more than the ol’ saint could take.

Insiders report Santa’s worldly possessions, including the Big Fella mobile presented to him at the 1919 World Series, are headed to Virginia for auction.

*****

Thanks for reading. More Friday Fictioneers are here. Evidently this week’s photo was used in a previous FF week that I missed. Way to recycle, Rochelle!

42 thoughts on “Alternative Fiction

  1. Heather says:

    Look. Trump might have taken the White House, but he canNOT take out the North Pole. I’m just not having it!

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Who? I don’t know of this trump you speak. 😆

  2. Face in hands, loud sigh… but so clever! xo

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      I rarely, if ever, endeavor to be clever, but when I do, there’s nothing like myth busting with humor. Gets ’em every time! A satire, a metaphor, and a politician walk into bar…stop me if you’ve heard this one – xo.

  3. I started snickering as soon as I read the title. I knew this was going to be good. I wasn’t wrong.

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Dawn, I heard you snickering. Thanks!

  4. Sandra says:

    Ah! Alternative fiction – very much the vogue I fear.

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Truth through fiction. It’s possibly the best way to get the facts.

  5. Michael Wynn says:

    Amusing, imaginative and ominous all at the same time. Great stuff.

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Michael, you just summed up human existence.

  6. There is so much scary stuff behind your little piece. Bring on 2021!

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      You mean twenty trumty-one. See, not even numbers are safe!

  7. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Wow, I want to say this is a beautiful piece of fiction but I now believe such ridiculous stuff could happen.

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Nothing like alternative fiction to make a believer out of ya. Thanks!

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Poor Santa? What about the people who won’t be able to figure out how to pronounce Penruary? I laugh every time I hear someone say “FebRuary”. HA!

      1. acflory says:

        -giggles- Hey! I say FebRuary in my head every time I write the word. Along with WeDnesday. :p

  8. wmqcolby says:

    “What IS truth, said jesting Pilate, and would not wait for an answer.” — Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.
    As for the Fractured Fairy Tales, my favorite was red Riding Hood with the 15 baskets full of — “(BANG!) uh, yeah. Goodies. Well, the story ALMOST had a happy ending.” 😀

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      It depends, one might say, on what your definition of is, is. That little nugget from a previous administration’s trials and tribulations…and happy endings (sorta) are better off forgotten. 😀

      1. wmqcolby says:

        Hahahaha! Or as Jacques Monod, the French biologist said in his book, Chance and Necessity, and he held this view, that we don’t know an “ought” from the “is.” 😀

  9. Allan G. Smorra says:

    Trumptober—I love it. Thanks, Stephanie.
    Ω

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Yeah, it was a toss up between -tober or tember. I thought trumpuary would be over the top. 🙄

      1. Allan G. Smorra says:

        The bar is set so low that just about anything would be over the top.
        Ω

  10. Honie, what can I say but Wow! I love that you took your idea and ran with it. Your story brought a big grin, although a bit lopsided by angst.

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      I think we are all walking around with lopsided grins. The new Great American past time.

  11. Dear StepHonie,

    Prompt? We don’ need no stinking prompt.

    I grew up on Fractured Fairy Tales. That might explain a lot. We all know that climate change is hogwash and hooey, right? That’s why my friend in New Mexico in the desert is suffering from the high humidity.

    As for recycling the prompt…totally unintentional. Oops.

    You had me at “Here’s something you’ll really like.” 😉 Love Rocket J. Squirrel.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Dear Rochelle,

      Imagine my joy when I discovered that the prompt could work so well with an idea I had squirreled away in my brain. It’s all about editing, isn’t it?

      Nuts about you,
      StepHonie

  12. Alternative facts, science conspiracies, imagined enemies…. sounds like a reality TV show, no? It’s funny how you tied this to the photo. I like it.
    Tracey

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Truth is stranger than fiction more and more every day. Thanks Tracey.

  13. rgayer55 says:

    You know I’m a sucker for Edward Everett Horton. Where do you think I get most of my material?

    I can’t wait for St. Reagan Day and the Festival of Robbers Hood (the national stealing from the poor and giving to the rich extravaganza).

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      It deserves to be spelled out completely, Russell, your comment made me laugh out LOUD.

  14. Iain Kelly says:

    Very amusing. Scarily I can imagine he would try and have month after him.

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Hey, all it takes is an executive order to institute the Lunacy Calendar.

  15. James says:

    So the old gent finally kicked it, eh? Well, the missus is Jewish so we’ll still have Chanukah. 😀

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      Yeah, I hear that’s moving to the first Friday in Ryantember.

      1. James says:

        Ha! It’s on a lunar calendar so it doesn’t work that way.

  16. neilmacdon says:

    What an interesting challenge you set yourself. I love your rationale for doing it

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      People and their myths are a fictioneer’s dream!

  17. Dale says:

    Wow! To have done that sans prompt… bravo! I think I’d go into cardiac arrest myself…

    1. HonieBriggs says:

      I have the news (what passes for news, anyway) to thank for setting this tale in motion. The most ridiculous idea sometimes manifests itself in ways we could never expect.

      1. Dale says:

        That is so true!

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