American Caricature

Yesterday I wrote a great story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt. It was funny. Very funny. It was a really, really great story. And so funny. Taking my writing cues from the new leader of the free world, I can say that readers everywhere would have thought “Campfire Girls All Grown Up” was a great title for my great story about old childhood friends who had met life’s challenges head on with the support of their group which they now called The Drunken Poets Society. This great, really great, story takes place at the twenty-second annual Drunken Poets Campout. I was all set to hit publish. Then last night something happened. I went with my son to see John Cleese and Eric Idle in their Together Again At Last…For The Very First Time North American Tour.

If you don’t know who these guys are, what cave have you been living in?

The two comic giants played to a sold out house at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. The first act got off to a slow start. What else would you expect from two old farts? Still, it was entertaining and informative. For instance, I did not know that the first PBS station to broadcast episodes of Monty Python’s Flying Circus in the U.S. was KERA in Dallas, Texas.

Two red armchairs cushioned the iconic, and well-worn, actors as they reminisced about the good old days of Monty Python. Name dropping mixed with comedy sketches and songs, it was like sitting at the knee of a profane uncle and loving every minute of it.

What this has to do with my Friday Fictioneers story, you may be wondering. Or not. Well, last night in my sleep, Eric Idle came to me and said, “Campfire Girls All Grown Up isn’t funny. In fact, Honie, it stinks. Then he sang me a song he’d written just for me. I can’t share it here due to copyrights, quid pro quo trade negotiations, Brexit ex post facto, ipso facto e pluribus unum and all that, but suffice to say, it was really, really, great. Really.

So, this morning in the light of day I decided to embrace the absurdity of being American. Here’s my new and improved story.

Copyright Jan Wayne Fields


I read the news today. Oh boy! Frackers and hackers have surrounded the backpackers. Obese schizophrenics protest en masse. No one knows for sure what has offended them today, but they are armed with selfie sticks, free with every purchase at Starbucks.

I experience fever then chills then uncontrollable laughter. Nausea follows. I want to run, sleep, and vomit all at once. I call my doctor’s office, calming down on hold while I sing along, “Billie Jean is not my lover.” The virtual nurse comes on the line.

“If this is an emergency, please hang up and call 911. Goodbye.”


Thanks to Rochelle and her trusty companion, Jan, for this week’s prompt. Check out more FF stories here. Thanks for reading.

31 thoughts on “American Caricature

  1. Always bright here (all definitions) Just wrapping the holidays up…
    Waiting for sunset on Christmas Eve is like standing toes-over-the-edge on a high diving board.
    Every year we’d cruise casually by the window to keep an eye on the sun’s progress until it was officially evening.
    Then the shout “Christmas Eve Gift!” would ring out.
    You see, the traditions says that the first person to voice that phrase on Christmas Eve to another would be graced with good fortune and joy all the next year.
    (And of course, whomever was first won. Everything was a contest…)
    It’s more difficult to be first now with caller ID.
    As all those who have become my friends in blogland are spread widely across time zones, I’d like to wish you all “Christmas Eve Gift” now.
    And as I already feel so fortunate to have such wonderful readers and writers in this neighborhood, I wish to share any phrase acquired good fortune and joy with you in thanks.
    No matter where you are or what you are guided by, hope you have a very merry Christmas and a new year full of adventure and joy.
    Peace on earth and goodwill towards all creatures great and small.

  2. I am so very joyful I didn’t read this till today. Catch up sometimes can be the best thing….ever!

    I am green with envy. Monty Python … John Cleese and Eric Idle…..I am going to the corner to pout now.


    Your story was perfectly aligned.

  3. Dear Honie,

    Have you also heard of The Galaxy song by the boys? I bet I’m pushing on an open door, but I thought I’d mention it. I loved that they sang to you in your dream. Thanks for this wild ride.



    1. Dear Doug,
      I have used The Galaxy song in other posts, yes, it’s one of my favorites when I get the blues. Eric did treat us to it at the show. Another thing I enjoy so much about Monty Python is the collaborative nature of the writing. We got a glimpse into how they created such epic works. I’d very much like to be a part of that kind of endeavor.
      Sweet Dreams,

    1. No doubt about it, Mr. Petruska, the kid (no longer a kid) is definitely mine. It was an unexpected pleasure to spend time with him as he is too, too busy for his mom these days, in a Harry Chapin sort of way. I truly hope we haven’t seen the last of great entertainers who help us appreciate and accept the human experience. I have a feeling we’re gonna need to laugh together in the years ahead.

  4. Dear StepHonie,

    OMG. This is hilarious. Of course, now I’ll be humming Always Look on the Bright Side. One of my favorite movie scenes of all times. I will have to take this blog post out for another read. Thank you for posting it.



    1. Dearest Campfire Girl,

      Happy to hear you liked my story. Take it out as much as you like. Low mileage gets me nowhere. My favorite MP scene of all time is the “She’s A Witch” scene from Holy Grail. It was a happy accident that we were able to score tickets to last night’s show at the last minute. Thanks to my Loyal Follower’s panther like skills. HA!

      Yours Truly,

Go Ahead, Make My Day!

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