Back by popular demand with the help of this week’s Friday Fictioneer prompt, the story of Madeline continues. She is an intriguing one, that woman whose past is catching up to her with lightning speed. Thanks for reading.
Copyright – Melanie Greenwood
A thousand memories hung in the air as Madeline moved methodically through the garden. Her hands lightly skimmed the shrubs she and Jacob had planted that first spring she visited her uncle’s farm. The tender shoots shivered, their energy rushing up her arms, and a chill brushed her neck just as Jacob had that day, so long ago.
Was he there? She wondered.
Madeline sat down and laid her satchel beside her on the cool stone. She inhaled deeply, drinking in the moment. Something rustled in the hedge. A hawk nearby sounded an alarm. Jacob must be on on his way.
*****
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Honie Briggs 
Nothing will ever loose that connection. Wonderful connection to the garden and nature.
The atmosphere is wonderfully built, and I love how you’ve shown Madeline’s connection with the garden, the hawk and Jacob. Great.
I can feel the anticipation and suspense. Her senses are open and waiting. It makes me want to turn the page and see what happens next.
Oh, what a great compliment. I recently commented to someone, in regard to reading bound books vs, ebooks, that the phrase “it’s a real page turner” means more than “it’s a real screen swiper.” I like that you said turn the page.
I love the entrance of Jacob indicated by the hawk presence. Nice atmospheric quality to this. I feel her experiencing nature and taking it all in. Nice job, Honie.
Thanks, Amy. I wonder what’s in her satchel.
Lovely photo, and a lovely snippet. Keep ’em coming!
Will do. 😉
Love this story and that you have continued to tell it. You set a scene so well the energy sizzles in the air. I can’t wait for you to continue telling it.
I think it may turn into a thing. I really like the character Madeline. Although I think in this part of the story she might not be living. I pictured her as a ghost, traveling back to a place that changed her life. I’d like to try to figure out how to convey that in 100 words.
Dear Stephonie,
You have a knack for putting us in the midst of the scene, hearing, feeling and anticipating. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
You have a knack for making excellent comments. Thanks so much.
Peace,
Honie
Dear Honie, Gosh, you wrote this so well! I hope Jacob is coming. This is such a poignant story! Good job! Nan
I think he’s close by. Not sure if he’ll be visible, but his presence will be known.
I agree with all the other comments: first, second and third. I was going to say “anticipation” and it had already been said. I loved how you described the scene and pulled the reader into the story, and of course, the surety and anticipation at the end.
Thanks so much for your kind remarks. It’s nice to be in agreement, isn’t it? I appreciate your comment.
Yes it is. Sometimes I feel like a chirping bird saying the same things as the others – but that just means it is true.
I like how she knows he is coming. I felt her anticipation.
She might be a spirit herself…
I agree with the first comment… I felt like I was there!
Me too. The prompt makes you want to be in that space. Madeline couldn’t resist.
That gave me goose bumps.
Yes! Goose bumps. That’s the spirit.
I can really sense the energies here. Well done.
Thanks, Patrick. I was hoping for that kind of reaction.