Old School

pencil sharpener

“If I knew then what I know now…” Finish that statement any way you like. For me it has no meaning whatsoever because what I know now is that there is no knowing how to deal with any stage of life no matter how old I get. I swear if I don’t get some relief from this betrayal my body seems intent on committing, I will spontaneously combust. Each blink, every breath, any moment of the day or night I think I might explode from the pressure of my own pulse. I am uncomfortable in my own dry, itchy, prone-to-breakouts skin. I’m like some sort of pre-pubescent freak, except my hormones don’t rage like Storm Troopers, no, they crash and burn in true Kamikaze style. My biology threatens to destroy me.

I am exhausted. In fact, before I finish this post I may need a nap.

I have never taken on the mantle of victim. However, lately it seems everywhere I look there is an indoctrination into victimhood happening. I am irritated by, well, by a lot of things. Today it is the notion that each insecurity or knucklehead remark made by moronic frat boys is too challenging for the average college student to handle. Victim-building, the new GDP it seems, will have legions ready, willing, and able to play a role after graduation. Not me. I refuse to buy into it. Call me old-fashioned. Call me whatever you want.

It won’t bother me one bit.

Most of my classmates will look back on this year as a magical time of self-discovery, first love, first epiphany, first hangover. I, on the other hand, will remember it as the year I went through menopause. Seriously, WTF!

46 thoughts on “Old School

  1. My wife feels your pain. Hot flashes especially. By morning, our bed covers are in a ball roughly the size of a goat. Peace and best, John

  2. I’d like to get off this ride myself but I guess we have to buckle up, eh? It totally and completely sucks it, big time. I love the Edith clips.

  3. Getting older is not for the faint of heart, I have been what they call peri menopausal for years, i suspect this is because I was tipped over by surgery. I find my the combination of zits, grey hair and wrinkles to be fascinating; don’t you?

  4. Ungh, I know you don’t want advice but you’re going to get it anyway. 1) when you can’t endure it any longer don’t be a stoic – go get HRT. 2) when the worst of it has passed, wean yourself off the HRT with herbals – and do exercise of some sort to even out the mood swings. I don’t know why physical workouts help but they do. 3) Tell yourself daily that there is life after menopause. Eventually you will believe it. -huge hugs-

  5. For a few seconds, I thought you had some horrible, incurable condition that would change the way your body functions and forever alter your life.

    Thankfully, it’s only menopause!


    1. Crazy? That’s a term I reserve for people who text from behind the wheel of a moving vehicle or take nude selfies. So, no, wanting to get menopause over with isn’t crazy. Best of luck to you too. 😉

  6. I’m right behind you, Honie. I’m spending my days alternating between hot flashes and insomnia. And It’s strange how much more irritating everyone around me has suddenly become lately. It couldn’t possibly be ME, right?

    1. Not at all. You are awesome. And compassionate. And good-humored. And a snappy dresser. I say these things to myself over and over…it doesn’t always work. Very interesting about the insomnia as I was reading your post about blogging being dead around 1:30 this morning.

      1. You too? Yeah, I do my best “What the hell am I doing with my life?!” thinking between 1 and 3 am. With my head in the freezer. To combat the hot flashes. And inhale the last of the ice cream

  7. Look at it this way: at least you’re not married to Archie Bunker. 😉 I remember watching an episode as a girl where Edith goes through menopause. Her hubs was not too supportive as I recall…

  8. You’re old-fashioned! (Must be why I like you.)

    “Victim-building, the new GDP it seems,…”

    Great line; totally agree. It comes from an era that values emotions way more than rational thought. If you feel insulted, that means the perceived insult must be real. And prevented, blocked, made illegal forthwith!

      1. It’s actually terrifying to me that, as I age, I find myself turning into the classic grumpy old man that thinks everything sucks. I can’t tell whether everything does, in fact, suck or if it’s all just me!

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