Why I Wasn’t Invited To Howard Stern’s Birthday Bash

Howard Stern

My Loyal Follower listens to the Howard Stern Show on SiriusXM Radio and, from time to time, he enlightens me on all things trendy that he discovers on his way to and from work. This is not how I learn about what is going on in the world, but it is how I found out about the upcoming birthday bash for the marketing mogul.

Some of you may have seen that shot I snapped on a flight from Denver to Dallas a couple of years ago. Yes, in coach. This, I am certain, is the reason I was not invited to the party. Suggesting that a mega personality might get his kicks by slumming with us regular folk in coach, well, that’s just as bad as reminding people there was a time when we didn’t pay for radio. Bad form.  Ray Bradbury bad.

Yes, there was a time when the airwaves were free to the public. Sure, there were limited channel choices and programming wasn’t up-to-the-nanosecond fresh fodder, but it was free to listen to Karma Chameleon dammit, and we liked it that way!

back in MY day
These kids today!

This is what happens when commoners start waxing nostalgic about the good old days. Unlike sophisticated reality TV stars, our lives are a constant reminder that the daily commute is all we’ve got, and the cost of commercial free classic rock is a small price to pay to remember the glory days while we are stuck in traffic.

Such is the glamorous pedestrian life. Hope you have a Happy Birthday, Howard.


13 thoughts on “Why I Wasn’t Invited To Howard Stern’s Birthday Bash

  1. Never have been able to get through an entire broadcast by Mr. Stern. I find him to be inflammatory rather than thought provoking. He can be quite funny, but not consistently. I squander my Sirius on 70s and 80s music with a side of grunge.

    1. Oh! Mark and Brian, yes. They got their start at my hometown radio station, I 95-WAPI FM, Birmingham, Alabama. I listened to them all the time. One summer there was a contest where callers could win money for how many times they could say I95 in one minute. I so wanted to call in and win, but never did. One time a D.J. got drunk or high or both and locked himself in the booth and played Blondie’s The Tide Is High all afternoon. Those were the days!

      1. there is an art to driving and swearing.. mix in a few hand gestures and you have a beautiful symphony. And now I am really upset at you.. I cannot get that damn song out of my head. Aaaargh

        1. Oh no! Quick, recite the Gettysburg Address. No, wait. That only works when there is a full moon. Hop up and down on one foot and say “peanut butter” three times. If that doesn’t work, get Carrie to teach you a voodoo incantation that will give me the hiccups. Then we’ll be even. 😉

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