Cabin Fever Breaks: A Comedy In One Act

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In defiance of global warming, North Texas staged an ice rebellion last week. Little did some residents know, calling a cab wouldn’t get them very far.

1-DSC_0244  Yeah, the cab got stuck overnight. Just like the postman got stuck year before last.

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Yes, we have no bananas.

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Fade in: Supermarket frozen in time. Shopper stares vacantly as “Shake Your Groove Thing” (symphonic funk version) plays lightly in background. Muzak becomes increasingly loud. Flash back. 1978.

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Flash back.  1878.

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Not that far back! Flash sideways. Muzak changes to “Money For Nothing’” shopper absently sings, ♫ ♫ I want my ham and cheese. ♫ ♫

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Flash mob.

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Oh wait, that’s just cranberries left over from Thanksgiving. Here’s the flash mob stand-in.

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Cut to snack aisle.

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Ahhh. It was all just a dream. Two exams down. Four days to go! Next week we’re gonna celebrate. Join us, won’t you?

My Loyal Follower
My Loyal Follower

This post brought to you by Doritos, Pigeons Against Global Warming, and Ice. Ads below this post are not endorsed by this blogger.

28 thoughts on “Cabin Fever Breaks: A Comedy In One Act

  1. Today is the first day we could get around here without 4WD – Our stores are finally restocking and the sun is shining and it feels a lot like autumn again, only with icicles.

  2. Even though I was giggling while reading this, I still shuddered remembering the big Ice Storm of 1998 up here in Maine. I can’t even bring myself to write about it, even now — it was that traumatizing. Hang in there, you’re almost at the end of the semester. Once it’s over, buy yourself a crap load of bananas to celebrate.

    1. I remember the storm of ’98. We had just bought a house in North Carolina. The gutters were bulging with ice and when it finally melted, there were brown rings around the ceiling. We only had to deal with power outages and road closures, but for the northeast it was a devastating storm. The southern United States isn’t equipped for ice and snow and so what really are minor events anywhere else turn out to be national news. Some years we travel to upstate NY during the holidays. I remember my first winter visit. The grey sky, arctic blasts…I thought to myself, how do people handle this year after year?
      **on a happier note** yes, next week there will be banana daiquiris for everyone!!

  3. Very funny, Honie. 🙂 Hills and ice do not mix. Texas doesn’t salt roads like we do up here, do they? I’ll drive in any amount of snow, but ice scares the snot out of me. Your loyal follower looks quite happy – and like he’s ready for some mischief.

    1. The roads here don’t get salt or sand. Of course the excuse is that Texas doesn’t get enough severe winter weather to warrant preparation for such an event, but I’ve lived here seven years and this is the fourth time there has been ice/snow in the area. Hmmm, maybe its time to think about dipping into that rainy day fund everyone is so fond of bragging about. 🙂 I can just hear the argument now, “it’s a RAINY day fund, not ICY day.”

  4. Whenever a snow or ice storm threatens us out here, the first thing to disappear is the ground beef. Always. I’ve never quite understood why. I suppose it’s because a little bit goes a long way?

    1. Probably the same thing Canada would do with 60+ days over 100 degrees without rain. When we moved to Colorado I was sad to discover snow days aren’t routine. Once that mag chloride hits the road, it’s off to work you go through piles of dirty snow.

        1. rhyming prose, can’t help myself. happens when I’m not even trying.
          The past two summers here were absolute hell. I think we broke some record for number of days in triple digits without rain, but the brand of cold your area experiences, yeah, that is brutal. Mother Nature’s got her reasons, I’m sure. 😉

  5. Hey you got chips. For hurricanes chips and oreos and water + some alternate beverages will get you through anything.
    Good luck on the exams. YEA YOU!
    (Dallas area doesn’t do snow/ice well. Drivers still want to go 100mph anyway. Great gate and gatekeeper!)

      1. People used to laugh when my dad went looking at houses where weather could be an issue was wary of steep hills. Dallas area is nuts when it ices/snow “they’ll show that thar cold stuff who’s boss. Take care (hey you get to study more!)

  6. Only four days left? You will have no doubt earned a celebration! Good for you. I just hope you don’t want any bananas, ’cause it looks like you’re out of luck on that (although there do appear to be some narly, smushed ones left in that picture).

        1. Did you read the sign? Who needs bananas a 6 a.m.? and I just noticed it says Banana(apostrophe s) sold out! Bananas sell themselves, I guess. HA! Oh, I’m slap happy. Must be cabin fever setting in again.

  7. Brrrr…and that supermarket looks like a scene from a post-apocalyptic movie. (And I can’t watch the video because whoever produced it has decided the country I live in does not deserve to see it. I harumph in its general direction).

    1. It’s just Dire Straits singing the same line over and over and over. “I want my MTV” which was popular in the ’80’s. Get money for nothin’ and chicks for free. Sexist and stupid. That was big in the ’80’s. Come to think of it, that has always been big. Perhaps we are moving out of the stone age…um…back into the ice age.

      1. Hahahaha, so true—that never seems to go out of fashion, unfortunately. Then again, if an ice age comes and wipes out humanity, I’m sure Earth wouldn’t mind too much. (That’s the misanthrope in me comin’ out).

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