Open Season On National Wildlife

Copyright – E.A. Wicklund
Copyright – E.A. Wicklund

“Stop goofin’ around, Chester, I have to get to work. My family likes to eat every day.”

“We can’t work today. Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?”

“We’re fur load.”

“Fur load? What is that?”

“If you don’t use a gun to do your job, you don’t need to show up for work.”

“That’s crazy! Says who?”

“Robin tweeted to Martin, who re-tweeted to Raven, who told me last night while we were, you know, feathering our nest, that we’re all fur load.”

“I don’t understand. Who decided that was a good idea?”

“I don’t know, but it’s for the birds.”

*****

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What about us? We don't have fur. We can't fur load. Can we still forage?
What about us? We don’t have fur. We can’t fur load. Can’t we still forage?
This is nuts! Technically, I have fur, but I don't know how to fur load. Does this apply to me?
This is nuts! Technically, I have fur, but I don’t know how to fur load. Does this apply to me?
Tell me this is a joke, pecker head.
Tell me this is a joke, pecker head.
If it is, the jokes on you. I don't need no stinking gun, I've got my pecker.
If it is, the jokes on you. I don’t need to fur load, I’ve got my pecker.
What about us? We thought you cared about us? At least that's what you always say.
What about us? We thought you cared about us. At least that’s what you always say.
Chicken, yeah, let's play chicken!
Chicken, yeah, let’s play chicken!
Seriously? $#@!
Seriously? $#@! Stupid Humans!

50 thoughts on “Open Season On National Wildlife

  1. I think this is my favorite post on the shutdown so far – I have a neighbor who is fur-load from the parks system. So stupid to put us all through this because they can’t get along. Loved the shots – man – those eagles – how did you get so close?

    1. Those eagles were at Grandfather Mountain in NC. Both were injured and being rehabbed. So, we were able to get very close to them. I’m pretty sure they were living out their lives in captivity.

  2. I hope those critters get their back pay when this is over. I loved the pecker references, thought about including a few of those in mine. Hilarious piece, Honie. Thanks for the laughs.

  3. Fun! A pun wrapped in current events … I’d say Congress is a bunch of bird brains, but I’m afraid that would be insulting birds. A fun story, and you piled on the laughs with all those photos — good stuff!

  4. Dear Ra-PUN-zel, ,

    My father always said that a pun is the lowest form of pastry. This story is very “low” and I enjoyed it. The last picture of the eagles was the perfect exclamation point.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. Dear Daddy’s Girl,

      Yes, I thought after that tear jerker last week I’d let down my hair and play “how low can you go.” That’s the object of congressional limbo. Puns keep a blog soft and manageable and give it that bouncy lift everyone seems to like.

      Tangled in the Tower,

      Ra-PUN-zel

  5. This is just brilliant. I’m happy to find another punster. Love the additional pictures with the captions. I’ll be watching your blog for more clever laughs. 🙂

    1. Thanks for the generous praise. I must tell you, it isn’t always sunshine and lollipops over here. Sometimes it’s raindrops and brussles sprouts. I do hope you’ll visit often.

      1. The problem is literally that there’s no accounting, not enough concern about the debt and dealing with the economy. There’s not accounting for that (or probably there is, but I’m not going to get any more political than that)!!

              1. There’s no point in having to come home to recover from what’s supposed to be a vacation, is there? I saw lots of things, had a great time, met some good people, ate good food, and time with my husband. All good. We’d love to go again, but at the prices of the downtown hotels, we’d probably stay farther out, somewhere where we could get public transportation in each day.

    1. Haven’t you been seeing the fur fly, Mr. Petruska? Everyone is loaded for bear. Bears have fur. Oh wait, what do bears do in the woods? So, yeah, I suppose you’re correct. It’s a load of something, alright! The worst thing is, a generation from now, when bots rule the world, no one will remember this event. There will be no monument to commemorate the collapse of the debt based economy.
      The headline reads: U.S. Suffers National Erectile Dysfunction: No Leaders Left Behind

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