Ever wake up after a good night’s sleep feeling so energized you could fly?
Yeah, me neither.
Ever wake up after a crazy dream about entertaining guests in a house you built entirely out of popsicle sticks?
Yeah, I can relate.
Ever wake up after sleeping into early afternoon and wonder if the rapture happened and you’d been left behind? Yeah, that would freak me out at first, but then I’d get on a plane, I wouldn’t pay to check my bags, and just like Santa Claus, I’d fly around the world visiting all of my blogging buddies. All seats on the plane would be first class.
What a wonderful day that would be!!
Ever wake up, reach over to the nightstand for your iPad, check to see if anyone commented on your latest post, and roll back over in despair and read an article that sets you on fire? That’s what I did this morning.
First of all, the word is Blasé, NPR! Seriously? You can’t afford an acute accent symbol?
Second of all, passengers are far from accepting of this manufactured threat turned revenue generating solution. Most people won’t take long trips without full-sized toiletries. The airline industry knows this. Unless people want to purchase contact solution and toothpaste in every city, people are going to check baggage. Cha-ching! The mother of invention! Fear + Fees = FRAUD. Fraud sanctioned by the government, and anyone who dares to object, or God forbid say so, is labeled anti-American.
Recently I have noticed the next phase of this ridiculous systematic gouging of air travelers. The no carry-on bag preferred boarding experience. That’s right, now when coach cabin passengers at the gate don’t have carry-on bags they are given the option to board first. Well, right after coal up their ass could create a diamond alliance first class.
What do these non-carry-on pre-boarders do? They put their coats and shopping bags and baby gear in the overhead bins. Those of us traveling with our safe 3 ounce allotment of shampoo board to find no room in the bin! GEEZE! Next thing you know there will be a fee for carry-on luggage. Shit, I probably just gave some airline industry genius an idea. Shit! Can’t keep my mouth shut for nothin’!
Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. So, I think I’ll go take a nap. I hope I have that dream about the house made of popsicle sticks again.
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