Honie Briggs

Seriously!

This week’s Friday Fictioner post is in recognition of Bot Appreciation Week. Yes, Bots deserve attention since they make up such a large part of our society. Everywhere we turn, there is a Bot with an automated message just for us. The Bot community, like other scam scum, is largely ignored by the powers that be until election season kicks into high gear. The contribution they make to the world is an important one. Without Bots, sales of Tums, Preparation H., and Motrin would plummet. Thanks to Bots the world is increasingly a more irritating and acidic place to live!

Remember, it’s tough for Bots to compete for human jobs that require the skill to attract attention, generate interest, elicit desire, secure conviction, and execute that oh-so-critical close. I wouldn’t be surprised if bot appreciation week spurs some real discussion around equal opportunity for Bots legislation.

Here’s my 100 word Friday Fictioner offering.

Persona Non Grata

copyright - Danny Bowman

copyright – Danny Bowman

“Here’s the script. Any questions?”

“How will I know what they’re saying?”

“It doesn’t matter what they say. Just read it and move on to the next number.”

“Hello this is (insert candidate/merchant/charity name here) calling you personally with this important message. Have recent world events left you wondering what the future holds? Of course, they have! I understand your need to be heard and I want you to know that I’m listening. Your (vote/purchase/donation) will make sure your voice isn’t lost in the madness. So, don’t forget to make your (vote/purchase/donation) count. The future is counting on you!” Click.

It’s Wednesday, Bot Appreciation Week is half over!!!!!

Click here to visit other Friday Fictioners.

64 thoughts on “persona non grata

  1. Linda Vernon says:

    Oh so that’s where AARP calls me from! Ha!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Yes. They got a senior discount on pay phones and decided to equip their entire call center with them! HA!

      1. Linda Vernon says:

        Haha! I knew they were up to something like that! Those rascals!

  2. Joe Owens says:

    Ooh, I am no fan of the bots. Automated calls just tweak my trigger!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Me neither, Joe. No fan at all.

  3. It’s tough to be a bot. One down, only ten million more calls to go before retirement.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      It’s a bots life. HA!

  4. denmother says:

    It’s okay not to like bots, right? But I liked the story!
    Denmother

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Thanks Denmother, and yes, nobody I know likes bots.

  5. At least here we have no bots, I have the pleasure to be rude to a real person… 🙂

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      no bots? is that true. no bots allowed by law or is it that solicitors get better results with human callers? interesting. 🙂

  6. Honie, loved this! Brilliant and imaginative take on the prompt.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Too much a part of the modern experience, isn’t it? Oh for the days of the phone booth, when a solicitation would have cost the caller at least a quarter. Not an auto-dial free for all. 🙂

  7. Oh, how utterly cynical!
    Loved it!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. !!So happy!!

  8. neenslewy says:

    Great imaginative take on the prompt.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Thanks Scott.

  9. Penny L Howe says:

    Honie. Your story for the prompt, is the runaway favorite for me! And there are some extremely good ones out there this week. Both story and introduction clearly expresses in a satirical yet sadly true way our lifestyle (in this country) today! Absolutely perfectly wonderful! Actually I believe I will save this one! Thank you, so very well done! 🙂

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Penny, I’m pleased you enjoyed this. Your comment made me smile.

  10. I’d like to vote/donate. and certainly purchase Mr/Mrs Persona Non Grata. What state is he/she running in and for what office? Do I get any political favors or favored donor/purchaser status?
    If you’d like to make a donation to my PAC after your election, please call this number, enter 7, and a bid on your favorite construction project and we happily replace 20% in your next reelection campaign.

    Nice piece. Randy

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Funny! Thanks Randy.

  11. mairedubhtx says:

    I’ll try to keep bot appreciation in my mind for the rest of the week. Wouldn’t want to let the rest of the week go by without this noted in my brain. Loved your post!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Thanks M~!

  12. Well I am glad you mentioned this, I will make every attempt for the remainder of the week to not rudely hang up on them.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Caller ID handles them for me most of the time, but every now and then I pick up. I don’t know why.

  13. Shreyank says:

    I think i can’t add much to what other commentators have already said. But this post made me chuckle ! thankfully DND has worked for me ! fingers crossed 😉

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. Glad you got a chuckle. 😉

  14. petrujviljoen says:

    I’m a bit shy to admit this. I had no idea what you were talking about. Is there really such a thing as bot appreciation week? I’m going out to hug a rock and a tree. Loved the story once I comprehended what it was all about and got over my dismay.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Took me a week to get back to responding due to travel. For me, there is no such thing as bot appreciation at all. My snarky side makes an effort to deal with frustration in this way from time to time. 🙂

      1. petrujviljoen says:

        Oh, what a relief.

  15. acflory says:

    I really enjoyed the delicate snark of this post! May there be many more. 😀

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      I’ve been practicing my delicate snark. Practice makes perfect, you know.

      1. acflory says:

        Indeed it does. I try to practise my snark at least once a day. 😀

  16. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    Imperial Bedroom is my fourth favourite Elvis Costello album (and I love them all, so, really, it’s more of a ranking system than anything else)
    This takes the whole idea that telemarketers not listening to a whole new level. Hilarious!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Lisa, over at A Gripping Life got me on an Elvis Costello jag this week. The richness of his voice makes everything better.

      1. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

        I had been listening to Blondie, but had to switch after reading your tale.

        1. Honie Briggs says:

          I like to listen to Blondie when I need a boost of energy in my writing. I can’t listen to songs with lyrics while I write, but often certain music affects my writing, especially when I can’t get it out of my head.

          1. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

            Music definitely affects the mood. I’m calming down with “Almost Blue”, because I really needed it. I hope I don’t alienate readers too much this week — I was quite the wicked witch.

            1. Honie Briggs says:

              Almost Blue is one of most favorites. It reminds me of someone I once loved.

  17. I’m so thankful you mentioned that it’s Bot Appreciation Week or I would have completely missed it. I’ll try to think of an appropriate way to celebrate (in a personal way, of course.) Excellent!!

    janet

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      I do my best to keep readers informed. 😉 My own personal celebration of sorts.

  18. lylekrahn says:

    If only there was a creative, legal way to get even …

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      being above ’em isn’t much of a comfort, is it? for now that’s all we’ve got. we’re not even with scam scum, yippee! HA!

  19. artsifrtsy says:

    Awesome Steph!! – I get these bots on my cell, even with the Do Not Call registry. One recently told me that I would have to be transferred to make a complaint about the call – I got a recording asking for personal info – arrrrgh!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Between the Do Not Call registry and the CALM law, scam scum has really taken a beating. That, plus pharmacy cashiers winning the war on drugs, man, law makers should be really proud!

      1. artsifrtsy says:

        Government at work – making our life better. I did find the link to report the DNC violators – about once a month I go through my phone and report the monsters. I remember that post – ridiculous.

        1. Honie Briggs says:

          calls to the cell seem to have increased lately. just makes me shake my head. can’t wait until I’m evolved enough not to need a phone. telepathy in our time!!! HA!

          1. artsifrtsy says:

            Then we will need a “Do Not Telepath” registry

            1. Honie Briggs says:

              or a serious mind blowing roundhouse kick!

              1. artsifrtsy says:

                That should do it 🙂

  20. wmqcolby says:

    Wow, if you didn’t hit the nail on the head there! Honie, amazing story! The truth rocked my world.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Too funny! We just have to laugh at the craziness, don’t we?

  21. “Insert name here” calls me personally, too. All the damn time.

    Love the concept of Friday Fictioners…but you do realize it’s only Wednesday, right? Are we channeling the spirit of Friday rather than the literary correctness?

    1. It is confusing, I know but we get the prompt on Wednesday and have till Friday to write our stories. With everyone on so may different schedules this helps many of us (myself included) participate.

      1. Ahh…and Honie Briggs is hardly a procrastinator. Got it!

        1. Honie Briggs says:

          oh no, I’m a citizen of the procrastiNATION, but when there’s fun to be had I’m all over it!

    2. Honie Briggs says:

      Please hold while I transfer your comment.
      Thank you for holding.
      One moment please while I verify your identity.
      No, not your secret identity.
      Mr. Petruska, is that you?
      Literary correctness is on back order. Would you like to cancel your order?
      Please hold.
      Click.
      😀

  22. Kwadwo says:

    Interesting piece

      1. Kwadwo says:

        Hello Honie,

        I’m’ taking a poll about WordPress advertising on our blogs without our permission.

        Please click on the link below to take part in it.

        http://logo-ligi.com/2013/05/22/ad-free-or-not-ad-free/

  23. Dear Honie,
    I seldom toss the word “brilliant” around but I must use it here. It could go without saying that it’s well thought out and well written, but I’ll say it just the same.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      This is high praise, Rochelle. I’m humbled. The bot is something so frustrating, so common, so ridiculous. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. The prompt was brilliant!

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