10 Things You Will Not Find On This Blog

Some people want to wear their associations like some sort of badge of honor. Fine, if that’s your thing, but stay on your side of the ditch. Don’t park your shit wagon and try to peddle turds over here. This is a ZERO ZEALOT ZONE.

You will most certainly find posts about things in which I believe strongly, stuff that frustrates me and flat-out makes me twelve shades of pissed off, but there are some subjects I don’t waste my time writing about. So far I’ve managed to steer clear of topics too stupid for words. Here are ten things you will not find on this blog.   

1. Recipes for homemade bully pulpit polish

2. Endorsements for penis enhancement pills or emulsions

3. Safe haven for fear mongers, scam scum, elected, appointed or purchased rat bastards

4. iPhone photos of me and Prince Harry in Vegas

5. Outtakes from my Sundance Film Festival entry, Southern Fried Ninja

6. Guest posts written entirely in Pig Latin

7. Posts phoned in from North Korea

8. Songs containing badonkadonk

9.  Tips, tricks, or techniques for making money the easy way

10. Bigotry and sneaky schism isms

That is all I have to say about that.
That is all I have to say about that.

42 thoughts on “10 Things You Will Not Find On This Blog

    1. Hook,
      This blog loves you right back! That pic is my most used expression when our kids ask for money, when my Loyal Follower asks what’s for dinner, and when tag jackers leave their dirty spam all over the place. Seriously?!
      p.s. I’m enjoying your book!!

  1. Honie,
    I’m glad it’s not a zero cynic zone; I would be banned.
    Speaking of zealots, the jw’s came into the neighborhood last weekend. Unfortunately, now that mom’s living with us my standard method of door answering was not an option. I’m going to miss the looks on their faces and the way the run away so quickly. Now I have to find another way to sweep them off the steps.

    1. Red,
      LOL. cynic, or at least skeptic, is a requirement here. there’s some sorta zealot pellet that gets rid of them. I read that in the farmer’s almanac, I think.

  2. I love the picture!

    No to the penis enlargement ads, well standards must be maintained. Could you please share my wonderful recipe for trash can punch though? It might come in handy.

    1. Well yeah, Lil Fafa. What do you think I do when life gives me lemons?
      For a standard size bathtub you’ll need 349 lemons (350 is one too many) squeeze and set juice aside. Open a bottle of red wine and drink until you’ve recovered from squeezing all those damn lemons. Fill bathtub halfway with hot water. You’ll need three bags of granulated sugar to make a simple syrup. Add two and then sweeten to taste. If you are watching your caloric intake, substitute approx. 104,000 packets of Splenda. Pour in 3 liters of pure grain alcohol such as Everclear, stir and allow to steep for one week. Note: Don’t try this in a Jacuzzi tub. It clogs up the jets.

  3. What about a post about Roman pigs in Pig Latin? I have always wanted to read one of those. It’s smart to keep those snaps of you and Harry off Instagram.

    1. All I know is we’re not supposed to feed the twittlizing flim flam skunk rectallatical spawns after midnight. How some people make easy money breeding the things I have no idea.

  4. Honie,
    I came for the smile, and I left crying. But that was because my daughter kicked me in the jewels.
    Le Clown
    PS: Great picture. You do Evil Eye masterfully.
    Le Clown

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