I could write piffle about horseradish being better than spicy mustard on a roast beef sandwich or I could provoke people with penises by declaring castration to be the only sure-fire method of preventing a sex offender from striking twice. Certainly my opinion on either topic is not worth more than a passing thought to most people. I know this. However, there are those who believe every thought they conceive requires sharing, that their every word should be heard.
A word left unsaid, left to rot in their head drives them to do the absurd.
Take jealousy for instance. It’s most certainly worse than pride and greed combined. Jealousy seeks to distort what one speaks, to bend, then to break any effort one makes to create a friendship with the opposite sex. Its hex, twisted, contorted; friendships are thwarted by jealousy’s ridiculous notions. Lovers complain, drive you insane, try to make you explain why it seems they have lost your devotion. You do not know what they’re talking about. Why must they shout? Why do they doubt?”
Leave me alone. Go back to your friends. I don’t understand what you see in them. You must want to hurt me. Please don’t desert me!
Leave you alone? Don’t desert you? That, in a word is…absurd!
Why must you text with the opposite sex? Don’t you have guy friends (or girl friends)?
Hours and hours, tears shower, accusations fly. Why? Please don’t cry.
This is why children do not have adult relationships. They are not mature enough to deal with jealousy. That green-eyed monster, no stranger to most adults, deceives us personally or professionally. How we respond to it depends on, what else, experience. Of course, I have had my share of being provoked into submitting to that rat bastard, suspicion; even conjured up the vile villain out of thin air. Jealousy morphs like a slimy shape shifter – doubt, fear, hate, pride – nowhere left to hide, it reeks with the stench of the murkiest pits of hell, and through hell is where it drags its prey.
If men and women don’t figure out how to conquer jealousy, or at the very least, gird our loins against its slicing, slashing, gripping, gnashing divisiveness, we may all be neutered.
What do you think? Is penis envy real or is it a lie used to perpetrate a fraud and discredit strong women? Are we really bitches or is the public being bamboozled? By the way, horseradish is better than spicy mustard on a roast beef sandwich. I’m just saying.
Girls Just Want To Have Fun!
Yankee Chicks
Honie Briggs 
I don’t have penis envy in the way I think most people mean it. Unless they mean by penis envy “I wish I could pee standing up like guys do, because it would be seriously convenient.” Because that I do wish I could do.
Penis envy? Not hardly! Well except for some of the power plays, I might envy that. But the rest, nah. This was nearly worthy of being set to music without your musical inclusion.
Personally? I find jealousy to be the very worst of the emotions, both destructive and draining. Loved this one!
I knew it was a myth! Thanks Val.
No penis envy here, but I was definitely focused on your writing about jealousy. It can be such an ugly emotion, and it is one I hate to feel. I broke up with someone once, because he was constantly trying to make me jealous. Everything else was great, but the fact that he would do this deliberately finally sent me running in the opposite direction. My husband and I have discussed many times what we are comfortable with, and what we are not, when it comes to having friends of the opposite sex. I’m a gooey, mushy, lovey person, and it is not unlike me to let some of the guys and ladies here at WordPress know I think they are wonderful — complete with hugs and kisses. But I’ve talked many times about how wonderful my husband is, and he is included in many of my posts. I’m careful to never let him feel that he is less important than someone I might chat with online. I should close this out before it becomes a mini blog post of its own. Great post, Honie. I think you’re wonderful! xoxoxoxo
Very interesting Maddie and oh so important to talk about it with those close to us who could possibly become jealous of the time spent blogging. My loyal follower is usually sitting across the desk from me in the evenings. So, we’re together even when we are both busy doing other stuff. Thanks for the compliment. You’re wonderful too – mini post all you want!
You have a unique and wonderfully energetic style, Honie.
Thank you for being you!
There’s no one else I’d rather be. You’re very kind to say such a nice thing about me.
Honie,
Thank you kind lady for the shout-out.
I love this post and I love the way you write.
Horseradish definitely wins out but castration is way too lenient for sex-offenders. Off with their heads!
Red
Red,
I’m so happy to see you back in the saddle again. You’ve been missed. How did the move go? Or has it happened yet? Love that you love my writing. Shout outs for you man. Always! Your post was not to be missed. It truly inspired me to wax poetic…sort of. Off with their heads! Love it!!
Honie
Thanks Honie,
Mom moved in almost two weeks ago and is living in the guest room until we find a bigger house and complete the final phase. Hopefully that happens soon as it is quite cramped here. I’d like to say the hard part is done…
Thanks again!
Red
I like the content, like the lyrical structure and like the horseradish. Penis envy, ah I don’t think so, as a lady who loves ladies, I’ve got better things to do…
I appreciate your comment. I’ve had poetry on the brain as of late. And I agree, we all have better things to do.
penis envy???? I don’t pee on the wall, the floor and the toilet seat, I don’t have to grab my crotch in public to make an “adjustment”, not sure they actually do either, I don’t need surgery as soon as I am born a female- ha! born perfect! Testosterone is what has gained them their position in the world, look at the news, one big testosterone petri dish of violence and hostility, missiles pointed everywhere, and we all know what that means. Horseradish rocks on everything, castration is a wonderful idea, all women over 50 would welcome that over viagra and yes, very lyrical sentence structures here.
Well said. Thank you very much!
Thanks for the link to the Outlier post, I enjoyed it very much.
I agree with you: horseradish is the way to go on roast beef!
You’re welcome Allan. Red has a way with words, doesn’t he?
I rather like your views. Mostly as they are so common sense and close to my own. Horesradish is awesome on just about anything!! Though I don’t eat it on meat.
Penis envy, LMBO! I can’t imagine wanting one of those. I can however imagine castration as a universal law for sexual predators. In fact it would cause me to cry tears of JOY! Didn’t we use to chop off hands of thieves?
Okay, I have to ask…what do you use horseradish for?
On my veggie sandwich with Avocado, tomato, sharp cheddar, sprouts, and cucumbers.
I am full from just eating, but suddenly really craving a sandwich.
Yum, I would not have thought of using it on a veggie sandwich. I love vegetable fajitas. Just got home from class and I’m sooooo hungry!
I wonder why Terry Stafford called his song “Suspicion” instead of “Rat Bastard”? Certainly has more punch.
It does, doesn’t it? That Terry Stafford was one paranoid dude. HA!
Penis envy? No way. I’m surrounded by enough males to know there’s no envy there. I’m quite content with my two X chromosomes. But I wish the entire world gave the double X’s the respect and equality they deserve.
Well said.
Thank you.
You’re welcome.
Exactly!
That post was a good read – this post is almost lyrical – you rock!
It was lyrical; I agree. Lovely sentence structure, Honie.
I third this appreciation. More lyrical sentence structures please.
Must be all that Longfellow I’ve been reading. Thanks a lot – WE rock!
Well, we do rock – but I have syntax envy.
Okay, THAT is funny! Rock on!!
🙂