Quietly as I could, I dressed in the dark, gently closing the door behind me as I left for an early morning yoga class. One I’d not been to before. I didn’t know the instructor or any of the yogis. And they didn’t know me. I arrived in my black yoga ensemble, paid my fee, and headed into the studio when I noticed three thinly sliced women staring in my direction. I smiled, quickly assessed they were in some sort of vegan trance, unable to smile back at me, and went on about my business. It wasn’t until the third downward dog that I realized what had so captivated the tofu trio. My pants were inside out AND backward.
If only I owned a full length mirror!
Later that same week, I was rushing out the door to get to an event for which I had volunteered. As usual, I pulled my designated shirt from the dryer on my way out the door and slipped it over my head in the garage before sliding into the driver’s seat. I arrived early and in my customary style began to greet fellow volunteers with smiles and hugs. After I’d spoken to about thirty people, I made my way to my assigned post where I saw the friendly face of my friend Jill. She always has a smile and a funny story. The look on her face became one of puzzlement, and then she said it. My shirt was on backward!
Try as I might to appropriately and properly dress myself, this kind of thing happens to me from time to time. More often than I should admit actually. It’s part of my charm…
In recognition of how well I seem to do things ass backward, today I have decided to feature five bloggers without asking them to spill their guts about secret crushes or secret identities. There’s no need for them to divulge their most embarrassing moments or execute nimble networking know how to be worthy of accolades.
For generating spit takes that rival Old Faithful, Darla @ She’s A Maineiac makes me laugh out loud. She writes the stuff of life and shares posts from other blogs worth visiting. For captures and captions of creatures great and small Lyle @ krahnpix.com and Lorri @ theeffstop.com each have mad skills. Photography at its finest and personality plus make their blogs two of my favorites. New favorites Lisa @ agrippinglife.wordpress.com and Meeka @ acflory.wordpress.com are as entertaining as they are informative.
There you have it.
Honie Briggs 
So why do I keep coming back? Today I read about someone who boldly marches in to repeat a mistake, has the attitude to keep going right on through with it and enjoy the humour of the whole ridiculous situation to post it all on the blog. That is a refreshing lack of pretense and fun to read. Then I get surprised by a shout out for my blog. It’s a good thing I didn’t need to cross over the threshold of trying to match stories or “execute nimble networking know how to be worthy of accolades” – I surely would have fallen short. Whatever mad skills (love that term) I possess, they don’t reach that far. All this to say thanks and I certainly agree that theeffstop.com is a great place to stop.
I am so glad others do what I do, I am not alone in my failure to properly dress early in the morning!
I knew you were one too. We need a name for our club…sisterhood of the ass backward yoga pants doesn’t work. 😀
Thanks, Honie! This is such a kind honor. Seriously. I hold you in high regard. There’s something about your style that I find really attractive. For the record, I’ve been known to wear my clothes inside out and backward, as well. One time I went to the grocery store with my pajama pants on under my raincoat. I think it just means we’re two cool cats. Some people have to try to look disheveled and unkempt, but for us it comes naturally. 😉
Very thoughtful, you made my day!
Lisa
AWE! I love that explanation, “some people have to try…but for us it comes naturally.” It’s all about the tude, isn’t it? In both of the instances I mentioned (there are others) I didn’t skip a beat. Just acted like…yeah, I meant to do that. Gotta work with whatcha got. That’s how us cool cats roll!
Exactly. Yeah, you’ve got it going on lady.
Ha! I know the feeling, but usually I put my shorts on backwards and I’m the only one who knows. Of course I don’t find out until I’m in the washroom and nearly wet my pants as I tear frantically at my underwear looking for the opening. Too much information, I know, but what the hey. The shoe thing was already done and I’ve been there too.
OH LOLLOLOLOL He Who (provided such a hilarious description) I almost wet my pants! btw, if you have a minute, please let me know what you think of this poem. https://honiebriggs.com/friday-fictioners-2/esprit/
I’m flattered that you would ask me what I think about your writing. It is wonderful! Who ever thought the latter years of a gnarly old tree could make for such a great story. For me it was dead on metaphor, and a bit of a scary one at that — the tree’s life parallels mine And, I would expect, most humans’.. I got caught up in the mechanics of the poem when I commented yesterday, because while you can obviously take criticism but I can’t, or at least don’t like to. Especially with poetry, which for me is inspired by passion and is very personal. How can someone else tell you that you’re doing something wrong! Change it and at that point it is no longer coming from the heart. I could rant all day. Sorry. It is a great poem. And the name Esprit is SO appropriate!
I have a great deal of respect for people who A: have earned the right to give a genuine critique and B: who recognize subtleties, excellence, and bullshit with equal discernment. Don’t ask me how I know, but I believe you meet that criteria.
What is so gratifying about your feedback (and that’s how I choose to see all criticism) is that we have the same opinion about poetry being inspired by passion not to be tampered with. I think this about a lot of writing. When prose flows so well you can’t tell if it’s coming from heaven or hell, that’s when you leave it to soak into the soul of the reader…as is. I haven’t quite had that experience as a writer…yet. The mechanics are necessary and I think maybe that is the irony for me. I began my professional life as a mechanic and it looks as though I’ll be learning it’s importance for the rest of my life. GAAAAHHH! Poetic justice perhaps. 😀
Thank you (blushing).
At least you are consistent!
Love the “tofu trio” comment.
Yes, consistent. That’s a nice way to put it. Thanks 🙂
If I could count the number of times I’ve done something embarrassing like wearing my shirt backward, thank you for not making me tell you all of them. This is too funny, my next two posts are both about embarrassing things I’ve said or done (isn’t my whole blog?) thanks for the mention!
You are too funny.
I have found myself with my t-shirt on inside out and have had my sox mismatched on more than one occasion. I blame it on being a night owl. Seriously, if I dressed for the day before I would always be dressed just right (and frumpled). Thanks for the shout out – I think we have a mutual admiration society going here. I found the Mainiac through you and she is laugh out loud funny.
Well, then I’m in good company. It’s a shame I do frequently get dressed in the laundry room. (and garage)
I can’t believe I looked down yesterday and realized the left clog didn’t match the right clog…luckily it was dark and rainy and when wet, they looks about the same. But UGH!
Looks like a nice bunch of blogs – thanks
A nice bunch – you betcha! Oh the shoe shenanigans!