Writing a profound statement filled with the exact measure of wit and wisdom to make it popular, perhaps even hailed as great truth for a season before becoming a cliché is a praiseworthy accomplishment. Today’s writers who can manage it would find themselves among the likes of Shakespeare, Kipling, and Longfellow.
Once such a statement makes its way through the Cuisinart of social media however, it becomes worthless. Not wanting to be labeled as anti-social or media phobic, let me clarify that if you are one of the gifted writers who can inspire thousands with your drive-thru breakfast order, more power to you. You deserve all the praise you can get. Plus, sources close to me have indicated that I may be at a disadvantage because I’m not on Facebook and Twitter. Now, when I say sources close to me, what I mean is every single self-proclaimed marketing expert on the planet. So, really not that close to me.
Go ahead and label me. Just be sure to use the correct label.
One-liners are not my thing. They just aren’t. I don’t know why I’m not good at them. I’m just not. I mean sure, advertising slogans are doable. How ‘bout a nice knuckle sandwich lunch? You deserve a smack today. Like a good neighbor, mind your own bees-wax.
I get it. I truly do. There is no such thing as bad press. It’s easy as 1.2.3.
- Write something stupid
- Post it on Facebook/Twitter
- Get a court date
It’s no surprise that this has become such a big investment opportunity for people with more money than brains. I could be wrong. As you may well know, I am from time to time. Ad buys and badges on a corporate website probably are more effective than actually investing in community development. Advertisers are busy making sure consumers are aware of what happens in the bathroom. Thanks for keeping it real fellas.
Yesterday I received a robo-call from none other than Walt Disney World, offering a Tax Time Special Family Vacation Package. It seems in these troubling economic times families don’t have disposable income to enjoy fun time together as they once did and the Magic Kingdom must be running low on pixie dust. What a shame. Here’s a little something from the vault to tide us over until things pick up again. Keep in mind that if you’re reading this post after a court order has been issued to remove this video from YouTube, well, that just sucks doesn’t it?
There is so much more to say, such as, “I don’t give a damn if Beyoncé lip synced the National Anthem. Hell, people did that all through grammar school.” But I think I’ll try to keep my word count manageable today and conclude at around 500.