If I wrote the first thing that came into my head most days, it would be an unintelligible jumble of half-baked ideas. Useless knowledge such as, a convergent channel intensifies energy to augment forward thrust and a constant speed drive maintains AC power regardless of engine RPM, combined with the news of the day and classic rock lyrics swirls around my brain until sufficiently whipped into froth such as this:

She did not come to this life by choice. Certainly not by any choice she’d made. Nevertheless, she…a placeholder, like a middle child who makes one superior and the other precious, unnoticed upon arrival or departure, a woman of reasonable ability, desiring to stand in contrast to pride and arrogance…freeze scumbag! It isn’t about guns, gun owners, gun control or fringe wackadoos. It’s about the vast expanse between law makers and law breakers. Who stands in the gap?

See what I mean? It’s enough to drive a person into a bag of Doritos!

In December, I proclaimed (meaning claimed with proactive enthusiasm) 2013 as The Year of Something Better. My intent? To move forward with purpose and meaningful action. To do this, I concluded that I need to augment my education with an ambitious three-pronged approach.

1) Become a certified government liaison with the American Red Cross

2) Complete a fourteen week course offered through our local law enforcement

3) Work toward a degree in emergency administration and planning with a focus on alternative dispute resolution

One month into 2013 I’ve managed to do little more than remain inside the dream that guides me. One certification class was cancelled, which sent me into a snit and I drafted an email that I thankfully didn’t send. I begin one class next week, but still haven’t made a decision on the third prong. I’ll do it! Give me a minute. (talking back to my self talk)

Plus, there’s the writing. As I have alluded to, it isn’t exactly leaping onto the page, and while I know if there was ever a moment to switch to afterburner, this is it. Yet, I stall. There was no choice in the matter of writing Summoning The Strength, that story forced its way onto the page. It had to be told and it has been encouraging to receive feedback asking if there will be a second story about what happens next. At first I thought, of course, something always happens next and there is plenty more to tell. Also, as a friend pointed out, there is a brief window to gain momentum from the first book.

So, where does that leave me? Working. Every day. To make it all to come together.

What? You thought this post was going to be about boobs? Get Serious!

***Soundtrack for this post***A Victim of Stars, David Sylvian

24 thoughts on “Augmentation

  1. There isn’t a single soul on this planet that won’t call you admirable and ambitious. Like Valentine Logar said, some things come in due time, and no doubt you’ll accomplish everything you want because that’s the type of person you are. Honestly, you make me want to follow through with my plans with more vigor. I’m so laid-back that most of the time I just take things easy when I really should set a fire under my butt and go, “MOVE IT!!”

    1. Thank you Hala J. You’re too kind. Due time…yes…but it seems so overdue. I’d say light that fire, but I can tell you from experience, use extreme caution, flash and bangs have a tendency to cause damage. Better to execute a slow burn to achieve optimum results. You have time to “move it”. Just try not to let time get away from you.

  2. Honie, I think everything happens in the time it is supposed to happen. As hard as we plan for things there are times they simply do not happen as we plan, usually because they are not supposed to. This is not because I am a complete fatalist but rather because over the years I have learned to trust my gut.

    One thing I do, when it comes to wanting to attend classes is sign up for ‘watch lists’. If this is available to you do it. With regard to degrees, instead of diving in, take some coursework and then dive in.

    I adore the fresco absolutely beautiful, thanks for including the picture.

    1. You make perfect sense Val. Time and time again I have discovered something better simply because one thing didn’t go according to “plan” and for a large part of my life I haven’t had a plan at all. I think maybe I’ve been listening to the wrong “experts” who say make a plan, stick to the plan, plan ahead, if you fail to plan you plan to fail.
      It’s also interesting that same attitude has snuck into one of the characters I’ve been working on and I just now realized it. Thanks for helping me work that out. Bet ya didn’t know that would happen, it’s great! Did you plan to do that?

  3. Honie, you scared me there for a minute. I was going to tell you to leave the girls alone. And before I go on — that painting — beautiful — did you do it?

    Now as far as your plans, it sounds as if maybe you had too many BIG things going on at one time. I often do this and then get so frazzled, I end up doing nothing. And then feel bad about that. Those things you wanted to accomplish are three very BIG things.

    Maybe focus on the one you want first and then go from there. I sense that you are a driven, Type-A personality, and because of that, you tend to go no holds barred or nothing. I do this too. Add in all that and trying to write another book, well no wonder.

    Figure out (and I’m trying to do this as well) what you want the most. What will bring you the most joy? Is it the Red Cross? Is it the 14-week course on law enforcement (holy crap!) or is it the “degree in emergency administration and planning with a focus on alternative dispute resolution,” which I don’t even know what that last part means. OR, is it your writing? Choose one that your heart wants more than any of the rest. For me, it’s writing. I don’t know if that means finishing my book or my short story or going back to school for a Creative Writing degree, but it all has to do with writing.

    Good grief, I’ve gone on way too much. But it because I know what a talented woman you are and your gifts are many. Unfortunately, you’re human with limitations, so you gotta breathe and determine which one will make your soul sing.

    That’s my theory anyway and much love, my friend.

    P.S. (I am reading your wonderful book a second time. I began it when the shite was starting to happen and I didn’t give it the attention it deserves. But I do have some positive and some not-so-positive comments — I get this from my writing group, it’s necessary! When I took a writing class in NYC, those not-so-positive comments helped my writing far more than the accolades. But know that I’ve not forgotten and for what it’s worth, I’ll give you my honest opinion.)

    1. Holy cannoli Brigitte! First things first: “The Girls” need no augmentation. So, that’s, um, yeah, not happening. The fresco is something else, isn’t it? I did not create it, but loved it at first sight in a cafe in Florence. Funny story there for another time.
      Each of these, we’ll call them endeavors, are meant to converge. Timed to create an explosive 2013. RC is something I do already. So, as long as they don’t jack me around, I will continue to volunteer with that organization.
      The law enforcement agency course is a go. It starts next week and I am excited to do it.
      The degree is a bit more complicated. 1)Alternative Dispute Resolution is a certificate program that falls in line with my experience in arbitration. So, I may focus on completing that first and take a few hours toward the EAP degree. It’s just going to take longer to complete. 2)The campus is freaking far away and some of the classes are held at a satellite campus even farther away. Driving not being my most calming activity, you can see my issue.
      Now, to the book: You are an angel to read it and I would expect nothing less than your honest opinion. Feedback is feedback and without it I am stuck in re-write purgatory. So, bring it. That goes for anyone who has gotten beyond page 64. Big love to you!!

      1. You too and sorry I took up so much space. I’m going a little nuts right now but I’ll be back on track soon, I hope. Dear Gawd, I nearly wrote a blog on your blog. But you don’t need advice from me — you actually FINISHED your book. Have a great weekend.

        1. Brigitte, you are too funny. It’s not like there is limited space here. I prefer an epic comment to no comment. We all go a little nuts sometimes, that’s what keeps everyone else on their toes! Ha! Hey, it’s Friday…again.

  4. There is always the writing. Much like there will always be boobs (real or imagined).
    Another class will come along, probably with a better teacher than the first one would have had.

  5. No, I didn’t think it would be about boobs. I don’t know what I thought it would be about. I wanted to be surprised. And I was. And delighted. And I hope the class works out and doesn’t get canceled again.

    1. Maybe I should offer to teach the class….Oh, that was arrogant, wasn’t it? I am glad you were delighted by the post, and I too hope the class doesn’t get canceled again.

  6. I know that everything is a “process” but why does the process take so dang long to come together! I find January to be a time when it is much harder for me to feel inspired. Maybe it’s the cold or the short days or the return to routine after the holidays.

      1. Exactly – I keep shooting even if I don’t find my subjects very inspiring. I think it’s smart to prep in this odd season, like taking classes and starting the process. I suppose I could be editing…

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