For My Loyal Follower

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People with birthdays close to the holidays say they get short-changed because if their birthday falls in December, they get the combo birthday/Christmas gifts/party, and if it falls in January, everybody is all partied out. Well, not this year baby! Today it’s a birthday bonanza for my loyal follower. He has asked for some specific gifts and he’s gonna get ‘em. That’s right; just for today I will never get mad at you again, never think you’re a jerk and always think you’re funny. Just for today I will always do what you say and call you boss. Just for today there won’t be any condolences for the passing of your youth and the kids won’t be allowed to call you an old fart. Just for today.

Now, for every other day I will complain about your snoring and other bodily noises, I will make you wait for me in the driveway with the car running while I decide which shoes to wear or try to remember where I left my glasses/purse/cell phone. I will ask you the same question over and over until you stop pretending you can’t hear me or I will ask and answer my own questions. (I know how you love that.) In the years to come I will continue to let you hold my feet while we watch TV, reset all the clocks when the power goes out, and open jars, wine bottles and doors for me. (I know you secretly wished that.)

Today I’d like to tell you how much it means to me that you leave sticky notes telling me how great I am and to remind me to pick up your Claritin. You should know that in addition to being my loyal follower, every day you are my best friend, my protection and the love of my life. On the day that you were born the angels got together and decided you were made for me. Thank goodness you convinced me to wise up and realize they were right! Happy Birthday! (Hey, stop and pick up the cake on your way home, would ya?)

I love you nine hundred, seventy-four million, trillion, gazillion!

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30 thoughts on “For My Loyal Follower

  1. How nice, how sweet. Now what to do? You have ruined it for the rest of us with spouses in the same predicament. Oh, never mind. You are a lovely wife and you loyal follower is fortunate. Happy Birthday to him

    1. Yeah, I gave you some bad intel. It’s only 3 years. I must of momentarily blocked out how old I am. I hear the memory is the first thing to go. Love ya, Lil Fafa, see you soon.

  2. My Pop once gave me a combo Christmas/birthday gift – he gave it to me in October and my birthday in February. I’m glad I could save him a couple stamps.

    Happy Birthday Loyal Follower!

  3. What a wonderful day. A Happy Birthday-day for Mr. Honie and one non-sticky-noted, good-behaviour day from Mrs. Honie. Fun for all.
    My birthday is the same week as Christmas so I know all too well the combo gift. Luckily, though, it is BEFORE Christmas when everyone is still buying gifts. I have family/ extended family who have birthdays just after the New year and I always… forget.

    1. He is aces. Although I’m not sure he’s too happy about being referred to as the man Honie. It’s okay, Mr. Petruska, he’s from New York, he can take it. (like a man Honie)

  4. Dear Loyal Follower,
    Happy birthday! And how dare you share the same birthday of the great Madame Weebles. I expect an apology.
    Le Clown

    1. Dear Le Clown,
      We have a “No Apology Necessary” policy here, but we are nothing if not flexible. So, please submit your request to woman@idon’tneedviagra.com for consideration.
      Thank you

  5. Honie, tell your other half Happy Birthday! Who are those beautiful people in that picture? They look like good people and I know good people. You deserve him and he deserves you — isn’t it nice that it works out that way? Mine darling’s is next month. Now, go attend to that honey of yours and do all that good stuff you said you were gonna do. Happy Birthday Honie Hubs.

    1. The photo is from a birthday long ago and those beautiful people are our kids. That year, I think, was a birthday/Christmas combo year. Thanks for the birthday wishes, and you’re right, we do deserve each other.

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