Home Games

Special Days

This is not a funny post. It’s a serious one. It’s not about the holidays or gingerbread houses. It’s about something that happens every day and how we need to clean up our houses. (metaphorically speaking) It’s not about a subject most people want to address. It’s about a subject that nobody seems to want to talk about at all, except to place blame. It is the shameful, infuriating, sickening testament to how the human race is failing to value human lives. Not theoretical humans or potential humans, but actual living, already breathing humans that are being targeted for violence. To speak about the unspeakable seems no longer to be taboo as long as it’s a joke. I assure you, this is no joke.

Yesterday’s post wasn’t my most unliked post ever. It seems my large bot audience must be Notre Dame fans. That’s okay by me; I’m not a sports nut. Yesterday I just thought I’d show my support for something positive happening for Alabama. Let’s hope a sex scandal in the year 2022 doesn’t cause the football czars to wipe their record clean as a show of “making things right” like they did at Penn State. Which by the way, was a lame excuse for “making things right.” It’s enough to make a person use The King’s Speech.

Seriously, think about it. If you know anything at all about college football, (actually high school football too) you know it brings in revenue, gazillions, and like most endeavors that draw money, corruption isn’t far behind. Greed, politics, sex, they’re like the three musketeers. It’s hard to separate high school and college football from pro football because one feeds the other. And like in most “brotherhoods” one hand washes the other.

Until yesterday, I did not know the story of the high school student who was drugged and raped in Ohio or that the despicable wastes of human flesh that committed the violent act were being protected, not because they are minors, but because they are football players. This, combined with reports that bystanders watched the act and did nothing and that there is video of the worst kind of scum joking about it is beyond intolerable. Yeah, here in America’s heartland, there in a foreign country, everywhere we turn, women are being brutally attacked. Used as a punching bag and then a punch line. I have to ask, where are the promise keepers? Where are our leaders? Where are the millions of men now?

Playing with their balls.

These events are cause for outrage! If you have a daughter, if you are a woman, if you have a sister, if you have a heartbeat, how does violence against women escape our awareness? Because there is not ribbon for it? If there were a ribbon, what color should it be? Red to symbolize the blood of thousands of victims? What about black and blue? How about baby blue? You know, for the people who don’t understand basic human anatomy and physiology, who don’t realize that rape can cause pregnancy. What will it take? How many young women will be violated in the most horrible and damaging way before we say enough is enough?

Blaming football, blaming video games, blaming single parent families, blaming working mothers, blaming deadbeat dads, blaming violence in movies, blaming sugar, blaming the economy, blaming climate change, blaming the devil, blaming religion, blaming the internet, is this the best we can do? No, seriously, I’m asking. Is it?

16 thoughts on “Home Games

  1. We live in a culture that increasingly doesn’t see us, women that is. We live in a rape and violence culture. We allow it to continue, women that is. We foster it even because we fail to stand up, we fail to speak up. We fail.

    You outrage is well placed. My outrage mirrors it. Our outrage isn’t sufficient. I don’t know what will be sufficient.

  2. Blaming is not the best we can do and is rather useless in my opinion. Instead we must consciously teach boys and girls to not let “human nature” or fear stop them from raising their voice, going to authorities, or finding some way to stop such outrageous crimes as they see them happen.

    Thank you for sharing your outrage and my post Honie. The fact that those boys and girls at the two parties did NOTHING to stop this rape is even more terrifying to me than the cover up by adults. In junior high, a girl threatened to kill me and then beat me on the walk home from school. I was terrified because there was a group of my “friends” standing around staring and cheering her on as she pushed me in front of a moving car(thankfully going slow) and then used her fists on me. It took years to feel safe anywhere but at home for years after. They didn’t do anything to stop her.

  3. Powerful post Honie and I understand your helpless fury. Most of us feel this way when we read or hear horrible atriocities such as this. I’d not heard of this story until you wrote about it. Was it national news? Doesn’t matter. I don’t understand why those responsible weren’t held accountable. But as you’ve alluded to one hand washing the other, therein lies the problem. I think you know, as well as I it’s all about money and that’s all it’s about. If there’s a solution toward putting humanity over greed then that’s probably a good start. But you’re correct — this should not be tolerated.

    1. You hit it. It’s the money. Football sells, so if you’re fortunate enough to succeed there, you get the get out of jail free card. Same with most pro sports. That’s where we put our money as a society, friends, and as long as it’s rolling in, ain’t nobody profiting from it gonna look to make any life changes anytime soon. Unfortunately this shit goes on all the time, posted videos or no. As do the cover-ups. And not just for athletes; colleges protect their interests by dealing “internally” with situations like this ALL THE TIME. Nothing new. Sadly, millions are too absorbed in their own worlds to give it much thought other than to say golly that’s awful, is it time for the Keeping up With the Kardashians yet?

    1. That is exactly what it takes. This rape became national news not because of the cover up, but because a video was posted by witnesses of the rape who turned it into a joke. There were also photos posted of the boys raping the drugged and unconscious 16 year old girl. These witnesses stood by and not only did nothing, but documented the rape as entertainment.

  4. From where I sit the problem is deeply fundamental to human beings. We are a greedy, violent bunch. We always have been; it’s kind of how we managed to take over the world. It’s manifest in our entertainment and sports, which trade heavily on violence and sexuality. We live in a world where little girls are sexualized and put on display in increasingly younger “beauty” pageants. We are bombarded daily, constantly, with messages of sexuality, violence and materialism.

    So how do we go about changing human nature? Because that’s what it’s gonna take.

    1. I don’t see changing human nature as the issue, but changing the message we tell ourselves and the next generation. We must teach girls not to believe that they are only worth the size of their breasts or willingness to be second to men. Even more so, we must teach boys that rape is wrong and to stand up and stop their friends from joking about or acting on these natural impulses. That is not impossible, it just takes a conscious effort by adults.

        1. Thanks for asking. They are taught. Sure human nature accounts for a small part of our actions such as PTSD, but I see this the words “human nature” thrown around too much. From my experiences and my perspective it just sounds like an excuse. Saying something is human nature has this scientific sound that means we are unable to change.
          My question for you is, considering how humans have evolved how can that be true?

          1. I agree this is a good conversation! I think you might be reading meaning into what I said that should not be there. This is not about making excuses or being fatalistic; this is about correctly identifying the nature of the problem and what it really takes to make things better. It’s also a caution that we may not fully agree on the approach.

            This is a complex subject not well addressed in a comment, but I would say that human nature drives a great deal of our behavior. Our psychology, our wiring, is so bound up in our behavior that even after centuries of study we can’t separate our nature from our nurture. It continues to be one of the great explorations into our humanity.

            And the truth is, humans basically haven’t changed in roughly 100,000 years. We’ve become more technologically advanced, and our society is a lot more complex, but we’re pretty much the same homo sapiens we’ve always been.

            Look at it this way. Ancient Greek comedies written over 4000 years ago can still make you laugh out loud. Humor is very subtle and human, and yet 4000-year-old jokes can make you laugh. We’re still the same jokers we’ve been for a very long time.

            So my point is that you’re facing a huge challenge, and I believe any hope of success requires fully appreciating the scope of the problem. A while back, a massive government ad campaign managed to get educated, white Americans to reduce smoking. A heavily targeted message aimed at one group managed to create some change.

            For a while. I’ve been wanting to research this, but anecdotally, I seem to be seeing more people smoking these days. (Which just blows me away. Cigarettes are a real WTF for me.)

            So think of that. It was hugely difficult (and the effect may have been temporary) getting people to stop doing something that was self-destructive to themselves. Getting people to see the self-interest when it comes to violence in society is a harder connection to make.

            So it’s a complex, difficult problem; the solution won’t be simple or easy. And the caution I mentioned is that, to the extent the solution is eradication of darker human nature, I may not be on board. Firstly, I don’t think it’s possible; secondly, I think it would make us sheep; and thirdly, I believe great art, as well as social change, sometimes comes from that darker side (and definitely from the passion).

            Just like Captain Kirk, I would fight to preserve all aspects of our humanity. That doesn’t mean I don’t wish we would grow the fuck up and become genuinely civilized.

            One thing I think we way agree on is that education is key to change. I believe education is one of the most powerful tools possible for social equality and freedom. I believe truly educated minds are almost always good minds.

            1. Thanks for the thorough explanation. I feel the same away about smokers, how did someone think that purposely breathing smoke and toxins into their lungs sounded like a good idea? I am glad we both agree that education is a tool we can use for positive change.

  5. They don’t have to all be funny posts, Honie. This one is so worthy and so important. It’s just like we were talking about on your post the other day—people have to stop saying “Our prayers are with the victim” and say “There must be no more victims, we won’t put up with this anymore” and take action against colleges who tolerate these crimes. Otherwise future generations of college women will have these exact same problems. And fer crying out loud, use the King’s Speech already!!!

  6. yea!!!! I have been saying this for ages! Just never blogged about it, and I should have! Thank you honie! I was just saying to someone yesterday about these football players and them getting away with it because they are football players! Things for women seem to be getting worse not better! what the hell happened?????

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