R U 4 Real? I Love U 2!

All we want for Christmas is to get this over with!
All we want for Christmas is to get this over with!

You may be sitting at your desk, having coffee, going through the motions, trying to wrap your head around everything that is happening in the world while you read this blog and other blogs. Suddenly another day has become filled with the thoughts and emotions of other people. People you’ve only just begun to know. Well, sort of know, as well as you can actually know someone you’ve never met in person. Like a pen pal, only with the ability to transmit what you’ve chosen to share with them to millions of others with one click.

Exciting? or kinda terrifying? Maybe a little of both.

This is our cyber existence, where shared reactions mean that we’ve formed relationships. Where people love each other based on data without any certainty of that data’s accuracy. The litmus test for that “love” isn’t based on 29 levels of compatibility. It’s based on what? An amazing gravitar image? A well-written essay? A grand gesture of kindness or courage?

Maybe a little of each.

Getting to know each other incrementally isn’t what we do anymore. We make fast friends based on a few bits of choice information. We watch each other walk the tight rope. Waiting. Wondering. Does this person really have what it takes to live up to the image we’ve built up in our mind? Do they think I am a fool? Do they think I’m trying to fool them?  This is no different from any of our in real life relationships.

At work it goes something like this:

Am I gonna get the job? Is this dumbass interviewing me really going to be my boss? What? I got the job? That’s great, let’s grab lunch together once a week until you reveal what a buffoon you are and I take your corner office.  – Was this guy really a good fit for our team? What if he discovers I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground? What if he is asked to complete a 360 degree eval on me? Should I start a file on him when we get back from lunch, just in case?

At the bar it goes something like this:

This place is packed. How the hell will we ever get noticed? Should I have worn those Jimmy Choo’s that make me taller? Oh, that guy is checking you out. Does he have a friend? Can you make eye contact? Yes, score! He smiled at you and they’re walking over here . Quick, do I have anything in my teeth? Two guys approach you and your friend. How’s it hangin’, says bone head #1. Next thing you know, your paying off his student loans. Bone head #2 knocked up your friend and now they have a mortgage. AWESOME!

It’s Christmas Eve – day. It’s important to make that distinction in my family because evidently when I say, “Let’s get together for Christmas Eve” I should anticipate the question, “Do you mean Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve Day?” People I’ve known my entire life, with whom I’ve shared all of the things a family shares, like chickenpox and bad haircuts, for some reason can’t seem to communicate with me as well as someone I met through this blog. Sad? I suppose. Surprising? Not really.

So, it’s Christmas Eve – day. I slept until 11:30 a.m. AWESOME. Actually I was trying not to get involved with the refrigerator repair that was scheduled to happen sometime between 8 a.m. and noon. The repairman called at 11:59 (no kidding) to say he was on his way and as I sit here listening to the conversation going on in the other room between the repairman and my husband, I hear something I do not want to hear…a part order, reschedule installation after the holidays…$300 dollars!!! What? He writes a check.

NOTE: Don’t buy another disposable appliance from GE.

So, it’s Christmas Eve – day. No filtered water, no ice cubes. No big deal. We’ll make do. Right now I have more important things to think about. Tomorrow the family arrives, for the week. Food, fun, family. What more could I ask for? Nothing, that’s what. Except there is more. Much more. A package arrived this morning from my friend in California. A total surprise! I’m not big on surprises, when they are used for taunting me. Like, “I’ve got a surprise for you, but you have to wait until…or you can only have it if you’re a good. Yeah, waiting for a promised surprise? Screw that!  But I love it when packages arrive that I get to open right away. I’m a big kid. We’re all just big kids, aren’t we? When I called my friend to thank him, he said he was on his way home from a flower market in downtown L.A. and now I’m thinking next year, Christmas Eve – day, in L.A.

The point? It’s Christmas Eve – day. Down time. Time to reflect, recharge, reboot and to realize that no matter how you know me, in real life, in cyber life, work life, home life, the after life… I love you. Today is Christmas Eve – day, time to love everyone. Even the bitch who cut you off in her gas-powered cell phone on your way to the HonieBaked Ham store?

Yeah, even her.

Here you go Big Kids. Look out, love’s coming right at you!

Big Balls

26 thoughts on “R U 4 Real? I Love U 2!

  1. Honie,
    This is one of my favorite posts…ever. I think a lot about the relationships I have formed online and especially the strength of those relationships. “Where people love each other based on data without any certainty of that data’s accuracy.” You have a way of putting things that reminds of when my little brother first got glasses at age six and with tears in his eyes announced that he see the sky. You bring an elevated level of clarity. I love that. And I love you too.
    Happy New Year to you and your husband and whoever else is in your life. I don’t make resolutions but one thing I intend to do this year is read your book. Going on Amazon and delivering to my Kindle…now!

    1. Red,
      You have paid me a high compliment, and that sir, will not be forgotten. Unlike where I parked my car, set down my purse, left my glasses….(the list goes on and on)
      Much Love,

    1. Better late than never! (this applies most of the time) I mean if hemerroids never showed that would be okay. 😛 You’ll always be welcome at the hootenanny, Storkhunter. Anytime you can make it.

    1. So, now it is New Year’s Eve – Eve and I trust you had a wonderful Christmas. Yeah – the fridge…remember when appliances were built to last? That “harvest gold” fridge we had when we were kids never broke down even after being moved a gazillion times! Although it didn’t even have an ice maker. “Fill the trays damn it!” (my brother was notorious for putting empty trays back in the freezer) Kids!!!

  2. (One tries to keep ones baseball comments separate from ones more serious comments… Remember that Confucius say, “Baseball is crazy; man with four balls cannot walk!”)

    The ‘net is really something for making connections with like-minded people all over the world. (I met the woman I both married and divorced on the ‘net.) I’ve been online since the mid-80s, and I have friends decades old I’ve never met. It’s interesting this Global Village.

    Merry Christmas, Honie, to you and yours!! Wishing you a safe, sane, wonderful holiday, even with a broken fridge.

      1. The Yankees! Oh, dear. Well, it’s Christmas Time Eve Day (late afternoon-ish), so I guess you guys can have some love, too. (Seriously speaking, awful what happened to Jeter; I hope he makes a full recovery! I was hoping to see the pin stripes go down against the Tigers, but not like that!!)

        1. Well, I’m not the “fan” just the groupie of the fan. I’m sure Jeter is comforted by his big fat bank account and the exceptional healthcare benefits, skilled doctors and personal staff attending to his needs. Pro athletes know what they’re getting into when they sign on the dotted line.

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