You heard it here first folks. Okay maybe you’ve heard it somewhere else already, but it’s true, 18,500 employees of the Irving, Texas-based maker of those nostalgic treats you loved as a kid have unionized themselves right out of a job; out of our lunch boxes and into bankruptcy court, leaving after school snackers to wonder what to do in a world without Ho Hos, abandoning citizens in states with legalized marijuana to ward off the munchies without Ding Dongs and sumptuous coconut covered Sno balls, forsaking perpetrators of fraud, theft, assault and battery who will no longer have the Twinkie defense on their side.
“it’s a crying shame,” says one researcher whose job it is to track the biodegradability of the beloved snack cakes.
“now every time I make a sack lunch I’ll die a little inside,” claims mom in the Metroplex.
“today the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union brings us one step closer to winning the ‘war on obesity’,” reports some stupid ass.
Wait, What? This is more than I can bear. First we lose our sock manufacturing, now this? What is happening to our country? Are we going to start importing snack cakes? This is total BS! Bloggers Unite! Save the Snack Cakes. Fight against….oh what the King’s Speech!