White Noise

Media darling Katie Couric putting in her contacts.

For all of my silly usage of adverbs to express my exasperation with all things political and widespread stupidity, I do have a grasp of what is going on in the world and to what degree sharing my opinion about all of it is pointless. But like everyone else, who isn’t part of the large and in charge, it gives me a sort of Monday morning quarterback sense of satisfaction to throw my own Katiesque “take” on our little spinning ball of confusion out into the ether.

Yesterday, one comment about naked pictures of Prince Harry struck me as utterly shocking and worthy of a full-blown SERIOUSLY?

“Everybody knows better than to party naked in a room full of strangers without confiscating the cellphones,” ABC News public relations consultant Howard Bragman said. “That’s just Hollywood 101. There’s always deniability, but once the photos are taken, you’re caught.”

What happened to what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? And another thing…Howard, really, that’s the best you can do?

It isn’t news that we indulge in the collective delusion that personal responsibility doesn’t have a place in modern society, unless of course, it can be used as a reason to make someone an unwilling participant in a game of morality twister. It may be uncomfortable for a moment, but it is soon forgotten. After all, we get distracted easily. So much worthless information, so little time.

The news media knows this, as evidenced by this morning’s report on NPR that John Lennon’s murderer has been denied parole for the seventh time. NPR included an audio clip describing the events following the senseless killing that happened over two decades ago. This too gets a rousing SERIOUSLY? And the added, What? Come on! Where’s the rest of the story? Is the killer remorseful for his violent act? Has he been working out, completed a graduate degree? Inquiring minds want to know.

My blip of a blog swings wildly between astute observations about the wise-ass hot shots who face plant while grasping at imaginary market share and the outrageous claim that the biggest threat to Americans may be chronic indigestion.

No, these are not my meds.

And so, it is with complete and utter surprise that I found myself the recipient of not one, but two awards today. Thank you very much to http://changeforbetterme.wordpress.com/ for the inspiration to do a post at all today your appreciation of my shameless self-promotion and pithy wit  the nomination for these awards. You are kind and gracious. I am honored and humbled.

While I attempt to avoid over sharing about myself, with the stealth of a Texas toll violator, I cannot resist including in my acceptance post, this timely report on Strippers and the RNC.

1) I am not now, nor have I ever been a stripper. If I’d known there was so much money in it, I might have done more sit-ups in my twenties and thirties. Alas, now it is more likely that I would be offered money to wear a parka than a G-string.

2) I was once fined $244.00 for failing to pay a .75 cent toll. In my defense, it was Thanksgiving Day and my friend ran out of gas on the toll way. In my haste to rush to her rescue, I left home without my purse. I had to exit the highway and cross to the other side to reach where she was stranded. I had no money. And so, I went through without paying. I thought I would receive a bill. But no, I received a fine instead. I’m over it. (kinda)

3) I say the “F” word. I learned how to use it as a noun, verb and adjective in one sentence from an executive at Lehman Brothers. I’m not proud of it, but there’s really nothing I can do about it now that I know how to use it. In my defense, I only say it when I drink and sometimes when I’m reading or writing…or driving…or shaving my legs, but that’s it. Oh, and when I get bills in the mail with a picture of my license plate attached.

4) I’ve only been to Vegas once. I won $255 within the first 15 minutes on a game I didn’t even understand how to play. There are no naked pictures of that weekend.

5) Good god do I really have to come up with three more things? Okay, I’m not always funny. There, I said it. I know I’ve given the impression that I laugh hysterically at myself all the damn time, but the truth is, day in and day out with me can get pretty boring. You didn’t already know that, did you?

6) If I live to be 100, I’m gonna bungee jump and maybe get a tattoo.

7) I knew my gym membership was a waste of money when a personal trainer suggested I just have plastic surgery. Yeah, but I didn’t. Yet.

Here are fifteen bloggers I really like. They’re in no particular order, and if you’re one of them, please don’t think it’s necessary to comply with any rules, just bask in the glory of my admiration and know that I think you are awesome.

Sweet Mother – Rocks.

Brigitte’s Banter – Also Rocks.

Miss Snarky Pants – I just discovered this blog. Oh, and it also rocks.

Any Lucky Penny – She’s so fashionable.

Mark My Words – Dude. Yeah, just dude.

Wind Against Current – I love the photos.

The Eff Stop – Artsifrtsy’s Writing – Photography – Humor

Everywhere Once – This blog is amazing.

Bucket List Productions – So is this one.

SWLothian – This guy is great, and not just because I say so.

Philosopher Mouse Of The Hedge – Thinking, always thinking this one.

Melanie Crutchfield – She’s all about the writing. And that’s a good thing.

The Blue Page Special – This speed reader feeds the need.

thegreenstudy – Another recent discovery. Really cool and very familiar.

Main Street Musings – Insightful and hilarious.

OMG I think my eyes are going to pop out and roll onto the floor any minute. Time for a little relaxing music. Peace and love everybody. It’s all in fun.

22 thoughts on “White Noise

  1. Hey, thanks for the shout out! I was born and raised in Vegas and there are no naked pictures of me except for that one of my grandma changing my diaper. Your list made me laugh out loud. I’m enjoying checking out the other blogs you listed – good stuff!

    I agree with your feelings about the whole Prince Harry’s “Lil-Richard” blow-up–no pun intended. All those “reporting to be shocked” should only look back in history to see how others’ in monarchial power positions behaved. Please already!

  3. I am basking in the glory of your words. And in the excitement of now discovering YOUR blog. As you seem to have an interest in the RNC and the strippers who will inevitably be quite busy as a result, let me assure you that I will be covering the event…erm, everything going on outside the event as I’m not a Republican for my blog. This week you can’t throw a stone without hitting a homeless person in downtown Tampa; next week you won’t be able to throw a stone without hitting a prostitute. Thanks again for your kind words. You like me. You really like me!

  4. Move over – I’m with you on the stupid media and news focus – music, please!
    Hilarious responses. Congrats on the awards – well deserved!
    Quite honored to be remembered – ( and I’ll get that post done…really….I will….sort of shortly-ish)

  5. Honie, you are so funny. I loved your list and can relate. As far as Prince Harry, really who cares? Can we please stop seeing the naked pictures with the black box covering up his crotch?? How many times must we be exposed to it, for gawd’s sake. My sis and I were just talking about this last night on the phone — TV and it’s downfall. Anyhoo, thank you for these and I think you rock too.

    Oh, and thanks for that song. I was thinking I’ll close my eyes and hear Enya or something. Psych. You evil woman. 😉

    1. So glad you liked the post. Yeah, it’s a sad state of affairs, isn’t it? I’m with you, enough already. Love your comment, made me LOL, and that’s pretty hard to do first thing in the morning. 🙂

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