When you decide to do something, anything, a friend will tell you that you can do it. They believe in you. They tell you not to give up, to believe in yourself, that you make them laugh. They tell you in a thousand different ways that they love you and it resonates with you forever.

A friend will tell you to pull your head out of your help you get your head on straight. That’s what a friend does. But they never tell you there will be a hole in your heart when they’re gone. They won’t ever mention how lost you will feel the first time you have some news and you pick up the phone to call them, only to realize you can’t because they won’t be there to pick up. Not once do they tell you how many times you will think of a joke that would have made them laugh, but that you’ll break down in tears before you even reach the punch line.

Your friend won’t tell you any of this and it’s a good thing they don’t. Because if they did, you might not hear all the other wonderful things they said. I’m missing my friend who would laugh at my jokes or if they weren’t funny, she’d just laugh at me.

A vampire, a zombie and a politician walk into a bar……

These days you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one of those three. I wonder where the phrase “you can’t swing a dead cat” came from. Who goes around swinging dead cats? I’d Google it, but I really don’t care that much. It’s just something funny to say, I guess. I’ve pretty much rambled to myself like this for the last couple of days, turning topics over and over in my mind. The actual “news” isn’t really news. It’s just recycled crap from news cycles gone by. I wrote an outline for a Mother’s Day post, but it started sounding more critical than funny. So, I scrapped it and went with the duck pics instead. Here’s part of it:

How do our children know we love them? Is it because we feed them? Clean up after them? Protect them? Maybe, or just maybe, they know because we give them an example to follow by showing them we respect ourselves and others. This is not an easy thing to do in a world filled with criticism. That’s right, criticism, not danger. No threats of mortal peril, just criticism.

Now that humankind has abolished slavery and eliminated cruelty and poverty, the only thing that’s left is criticism, right? Everyone is safe from the ravages of war. Medical advances have eradicated disease. Ecosystems are no longer contaminated. So, earth’s resources are plentiful and there is no more hunger. Yes, it must be criticism that’s the scourge of our planet. Who will protect the children from it when the adults have all fallen victim? Children, so self-absorbed with their own insecurities left to sort it out for themselves. How will they ever know we’ve loved them if we don’t teach them to demand public apologies for critical remarks?

Seriously? There are real problems we could work together to solve so our children would know that we love them. I guess we can just tell our kids we’re sorry. I’m sure they’ll understand.

Was that too critical? You can tell me, we’re all friends here. If only I knew something to write about vampires and zombies!

2 thoughts on “What A Friend Won’t Tell You

  1. Susan portman says:

    Two things. First, I had to go away and come back because, although it has been 12 years, I was immediately in tears over my own friend who endlessly, or so i thought, cared about whatever I brought to the table. What changes is the frequency of the occurrence, when other spectacular individuals eventually come to mind for those moments. The intensity of the pain does not change, although its duration does. Second, yes, perhaps a bit harsh for Mother’s Day but rational sarcasm, especially yours, should always be shared.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Harsh, yeah that’s why I went with the ducks. : ) …”when other spectacular individuals eventually come to mind for those moments.” Love that I have such people in my life. Everyone should be so fortunate.

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