Fasten your seatbelts. You can do it without any special instructions, right? I sure hope so because this post might cause a little turbulence. When I first saw the headline in the Review section of this weekend’s WSJ, I braced for impact. I thought there would certainly be something in it that would amaze me or possibly piss me off. After a cursory review, I quickly assessed it for what it was…BS. Upon closer inspection, I discovered the BS was quite deep. No surprise, it just made me laugh.

The former head of TSA, Kip Hawley wants us to know that he knows the folly that is TSA. It is clear to any reader who is properly trained to spot BS. Here’s how I detected it:

This first sentence of the article was a clue. It plainly states airport security in America is broken. This is not news to me and probably not to anyone who isn’t living in a stockpiled bunker. It goes on to say that not only did Kip suck at his job from July of 2005 to January 2009, but also that there hasn’t been a single competent person in that job since he left. No duh!

Kip has written a book all about his poor job performance and he wants us to buy it. Now let’s review for a moment; he was paid to oversee an agency supposedly vital to our national security, he sucked at it, the agency is a monumental failure, he knew it then, publicly acknowledges it now, and thinks Americans need to read his book to find out how to embrace risk and strike a new balance to fix the brokenness?

That is a load of BS with a capital B!

When the large and in charge decide to spend less time trying to win pissing contests and more time doing the jobs they are paid to do, that is when air travel security, among other things, will become more balanced. It will never be risk free. Hell, hurling through the air in a metal tube breathing a lean mixture of oxygen, jet fuel and farts from the guy who scarfed down a burrito just before boarding is risky. However, when you’re just hoping the flight attendants took their meds and the pilots aren’t stressed about their pension plan, the air quality aboard doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

Going through security at DFW, there are two lines separated by that ever-present retracting nylon tape that keeps the low-class cooties off the Priority Access travelers. However, when you arrive at Checkpoint Charlie to present your ID and boarding pass, the lines become blurred into alternating ridiculousness. No one gets priority at Checkpoint Charlie. Just hoist your bag of priority BS onto the conveyor belt like the rest of us riffraff. Not every traveler expects elite, platinum, diamond, priority service, but is it too much to ask for everyone to be treated like a paying customer instead of a threat to the one world alliance?

Wearing anything expensive for air travel isn’t a good idea. Placing a dry clean only jacket into a plastic bin that has held shoes with god knows what on the bottom of them makes no sense to me. I almost always wear flip-flops when traveling. Taking off flip-flops for a safety check is BS.

Having to purchase personal hygiene products when I arrive at my destination because I can’t carry a three week’s supply of toiletries in my carry on is BS. Being told by an agent at CAE that I must pay $25 dollars to check my bag if I want to carry a pint of homemade fig preserves on board even though my bag was to be gate checked anyway was total BS.

Please be advised that when you detect BS in airport security, there is nothing you can do about it. Even if you just want to verbalize your frustration, there is almost always some dumb ass standing between you and some other dumb ass who can’t seem to remove his belt, coins, nail clippers or assault rifle by the time it is his turn to get irradiated. These people must be contracted to shovel BS because they are on the ready to call you unpatriotic if you express ANY comment about the security measures that they mistakenly believe will protect their dumb asses in the event of an emergency. I cannot stand it when people say, “It beats the alternative.” Alternative? What, you mean like efficiency and personnel with the ability to reason?

I know the agents are just doing their jobs. Seriously! I see them standing in a posture of authority wearing their protective blue gloves. I hear them talking about their weekend plans while vacant security scanners sit unused because they are only trained to frisk passengers and shout, “Remove all items from your pockets and place them in the dog dish provided! MUSH!

You have a choice when reading and I appreciate your attention for the duration of this post. Please be careful when exiting and feel free to leave comments, questions or concerns.

13 thoughts on “How To Spot BS Without X-ray Vision

  1. swlothian says:

    You have refreshed my memories of the experiences I have had when I’ve travelled to the US in a very amusing way. LOL.

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Congratulations! You qualify for my frequent reader program : ) Be sure to tell your friends and family they too can now LOL at no extra charge! Glad to be of service.

      1. swlothian says:

        I love your sense of humor…

        1. Honie Briggs says:

          Thanks! I was thinking of taking my act on the road, but I would really need my own plane for that.

          1. swlothian says:

            Maybe start saving, and before you know it you’ll have one.

            1. Honie Briggs says:

              Gonna start saving again just as soon as my son finishes college. He’s on year five….

        2. Honie Briggs says:

          BTW…I checked out your book trailer again. Nice!

          1. swlothian says:

            Thanks. I’m thinking of looking for a way to get it shown on the Superbowl! That would get plenty of people looking at it.

  2. Sarah says:

    Oh, so true! You definitely tell it like it is, Sistah

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Hey there lady. It’s the only way I know how to tell it. Of course, not everyone likes that about me. Too bad for them.

  3. I like your writing style! And you’re right, it is BS!

    1. Honie Briggs says:

      Thanks Danasia.

Comments are closed.

Choctaw Nation

EDU 497.04


What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

A Year of Living Kindly

adventures in trying to live a life of kindness

church ov solitude

We are all just babes in the woods.

Cheri Lucas Rowlands

Editor at Longreads. Automattician since 2012. Californian since 1979. Junglist for life.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Mark My Words


fabricating fiction

Louise Jensen - Writer -

Granola Shotgun

Stories About Urbanism, Adaptation, and Resilience

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

Björn Rudbergs writings

Poetry and fiction by a physicist from the dark side


All the Blogging That's Fit To Print

Amanda Mininger

Writer | Author

The Brown Road Chronicles

Stories about country living, old houses, dirt roads, fresh air and other amusing (and possibly even inspirational) anecdotes!

What's So Funny?

Russell Gayer, author speaker

Elan Mudrow



Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!

This, that and the other thing

Looking at life through photography and words


Just another site

Midlife Crisis Crossover!

Viewing the non-geek world through geek lenses. And sometimes vice versa.

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl


Writing for my life


Wrought words and images


Smart and surprising

Geometry & Silence

Photography by Quintin Lake


Stories, poems, photos and bumbles for the soul

QBG_Tilted Tiara

Philosophically Speaking the World in Motion

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

Meeka's Mind

the passions of a science fiction writer

rona black photography

occasional visual essays

Michael Lewis Glover | Fine Art Photography

Architectural, HDR, Nature, & Landscape Photography

the eff stop

Adventures of a shutterbug

S.W. Lothian - Author

Amazing YA Thrillers and Irresistible MG Time Travel

The Blue Page Special

Savoring books and food

%d bloggers like this: