Honie Briggs


…..Of course, where else would I hit it?

There are times when I am a little too in touch with my feminine side. Those are usually the moments my husband likes to provoke me by saying, “You are such a girl.” That snaps me right out of my summer of love moonchild self and back to reality.

I like to think of myself as a strong person. Being stubborn isn’t strength and neither is being rebellious. (At different times in my life I have been both.) For all of my many faults (of which I am painfully aware) I do have some St. Bernard like redeeming qualities. These qualities are what keep me going when my body starts becoming unreliable. I am in desperate need of eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. I would settle for five. Neither warm milk nor Jack Daniels can help me. Meditation, deep breathing, and visualizing myself floating down a lazy river on a bed of Lotus blossoms hasn’t done the trick either. So I shuffle from side to side and rumple the covers. I try to find comfort on the cool side of the pillow and after an hour or so of that craziness; I get up and make my way to the place I hope will bring me some relief. (No, not the fridge.)  

I don’t know why I go through the routine of checking email at 3a.m. Not even a spammer is up at this hour. I think and think some more and before I know it, on the page is a semi-coherent thought. I suppose I will always be Summoning The Strength to pull it together.

Oh, I see a new follower has joined us here at honiebriggs. I sure hope it is a real person and not another fake blogger collecting data to send me offers for Viagra from Captain Tammy Faye or an urgent, important message from a bank in the UK wanting to deposit my inheritance from my Auntie M. PLEASE!  It’s funny in a ridiculously maddening sort of way. You know those people who say things like, “don’t sweat the small stuff” or “let it roll like water off a duck’s back?” They are verbal spammers. If I had a nickel for every piece of useless, cracker-jack advice like that….(attitude I know) I’m not sure who is worse spammers or venters.  They do have equally annoying qualities. So I will leave you with this.

It’s Friday! Get out there and pretend like you’re at a Lover Boy concert. Maybe I’ll get lucky if I warm up some milk. (We’re all out of Jack Daniels.)

Cheri Lucas Rowlands

Editor and writer. Interested in tiny things, nineties nostalgia, old jungle mixtapes, my little homestead, and my cats. Not to be fed after midnight.

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