2015, I’m All Over It!


Another year, now what?

Recount the holiday hoopla and subsequent holiday hangover? Scratch out a feeble map for the journey through winter and poise for the herald of spring? Nah! How about we cut to the chase. Here’s the skinny, the straight dope, the bottom-line…

Kelsey Donovan wants more out of life. Her desires land her in a pool of excess every December, but by the time the last cork hits the floor on New Years Eve she’s had enough. She’s ready to turn over a new leaf, right the wrongs, restore her life to its former state of glorious potential. Yes, a new and improved Kelsey vows to take down her demons.

“This is the year, babe. My bad habits can go to hell for good.”

“To hell for good? Kels, sweetie, that doesn’t sound quite right. What are you sayin’? You’re going to try to find yourself? Again?”

“No. Yeah. I mean, this time it’s gonna be different. I promise.”

Every January the circus comes to town. First, it’s the closets, then the medicine cabinet followed by the pantry. Room by room, Kelsey tosses the previous year’s must haves into a box for charity, as though the impulse will catapult her toward what she craves. Of course, she’s not working without a net. Her husband, Brad, has seen it all. The cleanse calendar, the psychic who came to dinner, the year of Mother Theresa meets Martha Stewart. Brad has a memory like an elephant and, luckily, a sense of humor.

“My God, Kels, wait! Before you go all granola minimalist, let’s talk. Remember last Saint Patrick’s Day?  Have you forgotten what happens when cold turkey meets cold duck? Please, let’s not go through that again. Where is that drunken leprechaun outfit anyway?”

Kelsey and Brad are fictional characters, but their behavior is real. If you recognize it, even slightly, then you know what I mean. January sends people into spasms of self-improvement. Some get fit, some get real, and some simply get ripped off because they can’t give their money away fast enough to the promoters of every fantasy under the sun who are standing by at 1-800-SCAMMER.

What’s that you say? The world is full of people who want to help you succeed, find enlightenment, realize your dreams, publish your memoir. NO IT IS NOT! There are maybe half a dozen people on the planet who genuinely want to help us, and I can guarantee none of them are trying to reach us via pop-up ad.

Since mid-December I have been recovering from surgery. So, I’ve had LOTS of time to surf for all sorts of the things. Each time I found a site that looked promising and began to read an article, I was bombarded with ads. After a few days I began to notice some of the items I’d searched for were showing up in banner ads on totally unrelated sites. I mean seriously, what do grad students have to do with extra virgin coconut oil?…Nevermind.

In 2015, I hope to accomplish many things. One is to discover the answer to this one question. Who clicks on these stupid online ads? 



Damn The Torpedoes

On The Edge

Human interaction requires not so much a trust of others, as of our selves. We have to trust that we won’t fall apart when someone disappoints us. It’s a fact, people will disappoint us. Every effort we make to connect with others in a meaningful way we are just asking to be disappointed. That’s the risk we take. One worth taking, no doubt, and one that becomes easier to take when we understand that our lives are fluid, always in motion. We are constantly moving from one situation to another. Sometimes people move with us and sometimes they go a different direction. It happens. We move in and out of each other’s lives, leaving an imprint for better or worse.

To share struggles with strangers somehow seems easier than to expect loved ones to understand. For some reason, for them the effort is too great, the distance too far even when they are sitting right next to us. This is why I write. It’s a terrific release. Words have power. They sting and burn and propel raw emotion from an inferno into a single burst of clarity that tells the reader exactly what we want them to know.

Making lasting connections isn’t something I do on a large scale. My circle is small, and the older I get, the smaller it gets. I have never been particularly popular, but reaching out to others is something I consistently try to do, and even though doing so brings its share of disappointment, it occasionally offers the opportunity to interact with some pretty amazing people. When I think about the chances of someone like me coming in contact, even for a moment, with the many talented people who have visited this blog, enjoyed something I wrote, and took the time to tell me so, well, it boggles the mind. Never in a million years would I have expected to be so lucky. That’s exactly how I feel today. Lucky.

People move on. It’s disappointing, but I trust myself not to fall apart. Another year waits to be explored. It may not take me where I expect to go, but I’ll have fun getting there!

Hello old friend
I knew you’d come
To take me to task
Like you’ve always done
What’s this?
No new tricks?
Well, let’s get going
The sun is setting
We need to make tracks
I have things I want to talk about
Subtle and dynamic
Light fades

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Timing Is Everything


Over the years I’ve had many ideas that I thought were exceptional. When our kids were young and every kid’s birthday party had to be more elaborate than the last, I thought it would be great to buy an old house with a huge backyard and create a party place.

I even went as far as coming up with themes for each room. I found them in a folder recently while I was procrastinating working on my book cleaning out my desk.

Party Place

In the days of the VCR, before smart phones and YouTube, I attended a job fair where there was a booth for people who wanted to have their resume reviewed by a resume writing service. Of course the line was long, and as I stood there waiting I thought, wouldn’t it be great if there was such a thing as a video resume? What a great way for recruiters to save time looking for candidates with just the right skill set and then spending more time bringing them in for an interview. It could also be helpful to job seekers looking for a way to stand out from other candidates.

For one reason or another, I didn’t pursue either of those ideas. Not because they weren’t good ideas, but because the timing wasn’t right. It’s just as well; there were other places to be, other goals to pursue, other opportunities to excel in store for me.


Yesterday I took some photos of my friend’s garden. Spring is popping out all around us.

Susan's gardentulip

After I walked around checking out the garden, we all went out to celebrate the Chinese New Year. 2013 is the year of the snake. My husband, my son and my friend were each born in a year of the snake. So, we had plenty to celebrate. This was my fortune.


I can hardly wait until Friday. Of course, it didn’t say which Friday.

Ever had an exceptional idea you didn’t pursue?



Not For Bot Consumption

Teaser The WordPress Automaticians created a great annual report for each of us that gives an overview of our 2012 blog performance. The fireworks are quite impressive. I’m not sure the report takes into account the impact of my spambot audience. One of the places from which views were most referred seems to be a scumbot email address.

I really want a super-sonic laser-pingback that fires a shit storm at spammers.
I really want one of those super-sonic laser-pingbacks that fires a shit storm at spammers.

I put together this list to show what I spent the last year writing for actual human readers. It isn’t a comprehensive list. I mean, who’d want to hack through re-hash 217 posts? Nope, this is just a snippet to give you the most bang for your blog viewing buck. So, for those who have nothing better to do on this New Year’s Eve, here are the categories.

In The Weeds

In The Weeds

What A Friend Won’t Tell You

Word Count: 185566 Words Later

Good Grief

Blogging From The Heart

Blogging Makes My World Go Round


Original Poetry

Not Quite Out Of Touch

Perception Is Not Reality

Life Right On Time

Variations On A Blogging Theme

Another One Of Those Days

The Unvarnished Truth About Being Freshly Pressed


The Deep End

Any Port In A Storm

Provoking My Thoughts

The Self Talk

Stray Dogs

Pick A Thought Any Thought: The Magical Anatomy Of The Blog

Bird Brain Ideas Duck And Cover



Color Commentary

(Something for the sports fans.)

Back To Reality

Nothing But Net

Blogging High On The Crimson Tide

How to too

Honie’s How To

(Something for the do-it-yourselfers)

How To Use Simple Math To Become Something We’re Not

How To Write About Something Stupid: I Mean Really Stupid

How To Mind Your Own Business

How To Spot BS Without X-Ray Vision

How To Be Married Like You Mean It

How To

Special Days

Every Day Is Mother’s Day

What I Learned From Frances

The Price Of Fatherhood

What Did You Say

It Was A Really Good Day

Exquisite Indulgence

Days I Should’ve Done Something Besides Blogging

(This was an embarrassingly long list. So, I scrapped it.)

 Shit Nobody Read

(This was another embarrassingly long list I decided to delete because not even I could discover a nugget that needed salvaging.)


What A Rant-O-Rama

(Surprisingly not a longer list. Seriously.)

Message From Woman@idontneedviagra.com

Who Do They Think They’re Fooling

Mayday Mayday Mayday Reason Reason Reason

An Open Letter To Doctors

What’s Wrong With This Picture

Yesterday’s News

For The Love Of God What Is Wrong With These People

What The Flim Flam

What Fresh Hell Is This

The Drug Mule

360 Degree View

dot com

Shameless Self-Promotion

(Not embarrassing. That’s why it’s called shameless.)

Honie Is Blogging, Seriously?

Summoning The Strength: The Preface

Self Publishing: One Year And Counting

Smashing Good Times

Self Publishing Insiders Trading

It Was My Lucky Day Interlude

What Self Publishing Means To Me

Because It’s Better Than Having Your Guts Ripped Out By A Wheat Thresher


100% Pure Honie

How I Met Larry McMurtry

Living In The Moment

Take It Any Way You Want

What Happened When The Power Went Out

Jury Duty

Time To Flip The Scrip

A Matter Of Death And Life


Coming Out Of A Summertime Coma

Blog Bling Prevents Erectile Dysfunction

Thanks For Reading.

2013 Is Gonna Be A Blast!

BiG BanG

Time To Get Serious

Goose Liver

I thought I could wait, but 2013 is going to be busy. So, I think it’s best if I go ahead and get this post out of the way. Some of you knew I couldn’t take the rest of the year off, didn’t you? Of course you knew. (thanks for not shouting at me for my freakishly long comments on your blogs)

This holiday season we need to ask ourselves a collective, “What do we want?” Do we want a future free from violence? An environment free from pollution? Or do we like living in our virtual cocoon hoping no one notices we’ve drained the reservoir. Do we want cures for disease or just erections and collections of support ribbons in every color of the rainbow?

It’s time to stop dicking around. Elected leaders need to put out or get out. Teachers need to be properly compensated for the enormous job they do. They do not need to be stripped of their abilities to inspire creativity and motivate students to think for themselves. Children need to be children. They do not need to be made into the image of hookers and soldiers for entertainment purposes. The world needs people who have self-respect, who are accountable for their actions and who do not litter. The world does not need any more assholes or greedy bastards.

How do we turn want into abundance? How do we provide for need? Our scientists know. Our economists know. Our scholars know. Seriously, they know. Adam and Eve exchanged those gifts on the first Christmas. What? Adam and Eve didn’t celebrate Christmas? hmmmm Are we sure about that? Do we need to debate it, call each other names and duke it out in the parking lot or can we agree that people are created from the joining of an egg and a sperm? Most of us have evolved or at least have opposable thumbs. Our mythologies, fantasies, illusions and delusions are what make us unique. Oh, and our fingerprints. Everything else we have in common. We all have blood and body parts. We all inhale and exhale. We all go potty. Unless a person gets assistance from a qualified physician, creating humans only happens in one way. So, if it isn’t your intention to create another human being that requires food, shelter, clothing, books and puzzles, constant attention, continuous support, affection, supervision, direction, instruction, mobility and more food, wear a condom or don’t have sex.

We can speak and sing and dance and love and see and move and do. What are we waiting for? Do we really need more stuff to argue about? Do we really need more than 500 cable channels? Do we really need laws to regulate how loud TV commercials can be? Do we really need to use up our resources transporting plastic shit across land, air and sea? Do we need to make a list of the harmful things we are doing to ourselves, to each other, to the planet, to our future? Will that help us get serious? Do we need to make a list of ways to support, honor, respect and maintain ourselves, each other, the planet, our future? What’s it going to take? Tell me and I’ll get write on it.

P.S. So far this holiday season Toyota of Irving and Fuller’s Jewelry in Addison, Texas have violated the CALM Act. Plus, telemarketers are not abiding by the National Do Not Call registry. Oh, and I’m going back to school next year!

While all of that sinks in, enjoy this from Our Time In Eden