Off The Cuff On The Fly


Now that the spring semester is over, my days begin and end in the garden. Those magical moments of blossom and birdsong are priceless.



However, for every other minute of the day there is math, more specifically, statistics. That’s right, magic turns to madness after breakfast as I, armed with the TI-84 calculator I borrowed from my son and my trusty kamekaze can do attitude, leave the serenity of my garden to complete an entire semester’s worth of coursework in a ten day Maymester.

This is the definition of insanity!

Day one was encouraging. The professor, with a robust Nigerian accent, seemed ready to help us tackle the daunting task ahead. Day two, a power outage on campus meant class was cancelled. Day three, things weren’t looking so good when the professor discovered that Memorial Day is a big deal here in the good ol’ U.S.A. and the campus will be closed for the holiday right smack in the middle of the course. Today, day four of ten, I went on a quest with two other students after class to look for a vending machine that sells scantrons. Yes, test one is tomorrow and we must supply our own fill-in-the-bubble sheets.

All of the vending machines are out of order!

Tonight I will dream of standard deviation and frequency distribution. Not sexy. Tomorrow morning I will sit in the garden with my coffee and watch the sun come up. Who knows what will happen next. Will a scantron shortage cause test one to be postponed? Will the class discover that the professor decided to chuck it all and hop a flight to Fiji? Will I ace test one and pass the course with flying colors? The probability that any of those things will happen isn’t high. I don’t even need a calculator to figure that out!


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