Off The Cuff On The Fly

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Now that the spring semester is over, my days begin and end in the garden. Those magical moments of blossom and birdsong are priceless.

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However, for every other minute of the day there is math, more specifically, statistics. That’s right, magic turns to madness after breakfast as I, armed with the TI-84 calculator I borrowed from my son and my trusty kamekaze can do attitude, leave the serenity of my garden to complete an entire semester’s worth of coursework in a ten day Maymester.

This is the definition of insanity!

Day one was encouraging. The professor, with a robust Nigerian accent, seemed ready to help us tackle the daunting task ahead. Day two, a power outage on campus meant class was cancelled. Day three, things weren’t looking so good when the professor discovered that Memorial Day is a big deal here in the good ol’ U.S.A. and the campus will be closed for the holiday right smack in the middle of the course. Today, day four of ten, I went on a quest with two other students after class to look for a vending machine that sells scantrons. Yes, test one is tomorrow and we must supply our own fill-in-the-bubble sheets.

All of the vending machines are out of order!

Tonight I will dream of standard deviation and frequency distribution. Not sexy. Tomorrow morning I will sit in the garden with my coffee and watch the sun come up. Who knows what will happen next. Will a scantron shortage cause test one to be postponed? Will the class discover that the professor decided to chuck it all and hop a flight to Fiji? Will I ace test one and pass the course with flying colors? The probability that any of those things will happen isn’t high. I don’t even need a calculator to figure that out!

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