People with birthdays close to the holidays say they get short-changed because if their birthday falls in December, they get the combo birthday/Christmas gifts/party, and if it falls in January, everybody is all partied out. Well, not this year baby! Today it’s a birthday bonanza for my loyal follower. He has asked for some specific gifts and he’s gonna get ‘em. That’s right; just for today I will never get mad at you again, never think you’re a jerk and always think you’re funny. Just for today I will always do what you say and call you boss. Just for today there won’t be any condolences for the passing of your youth and the kids won’t be allowed to call you an old fart. Just for today.
Now, for every other day I will complain about your snoring and other bodily noises, I will make you wait for me in the driveway with the car running while I decide which shoes to wear or try to remember where I left my glasses/purse/cell phone. I will ask you the same question over and over until you stop pretending you can’t hear me or I will ask and answer my own questions. (I know how you love that.) In the years to come I will continue to let you hold my feet while we watch TV, reset all the clocks when the power goes out, and open jars, wine bottles and doors for me. (I know you secretly wished that.)
Today I’d like to tell you how much it means to me that you leave sticky notes telling me how great I am and to remind me to pick up your Claritin. You should know that in addition to being my loyal follower, every day you are my best friend, my protection and the love of my life. On the day that you were born the angels got together and decided you were made for me. Thank goodness you convinced me to wise up and realize they were right! Happy Birthday! (Hey, stop and pick up the cake on your way home, would ya?)
I love you nine hundred, seventy-four million, trillion, gazillion!