Sometimes I’m Wrong

I think they call it a freeway because people driving gas-powered cell phones should feel free to GET OUT OF MY WAY.

I think because I say something with confidence my husband/children/strangers should understand that I know what I’m talking about, even if I really don’t.

I think people can hear my Southern accent when I write swear words and they might think I sound ignorant.

I think people who are ignorant shouldn’t be the ones they put in front of a news camera to give an eye-witness account or be a spokesperson pretending to understand basic human anatomy and physiology.

I think just because someone is smart or pretty or rich or a good dancer or able to beat everybody at Scrabble or not burn the dinner rolls, that they DON’T  have the right to be a jerk to the rest of us.

I think it would be great to be able to laser assholes right off the planet.

Thinking can make your head hurt. Not thinking can make your entire body hurt. I’ve said before that I’m an over thinker and have expected people to understand what that means. It occurs to me now that maybe a brief explanation is in order.

Even computers with Pentium processors need to power down from time to time to keep their mother boards from warping or whatever. My brain is no Pentium processor, but it could stand a little down time. It hardly ever stops in there, and while it isn’t cause for alarm, I do need to be more focused. Sure, I can make a split second decision to have a bag of Doritos and a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies for lunch. I can extrapolate subtle wit from mountains of bullshit. Unlike most brains however, mine isn’t a blob of grey matter. It’s more like a bowl of rainbow sherbet. Actually more like a trough than a bowl really. A trough filled with rainbow sherbet, nuts and sprinkles. Also swirling organ music, drunken carnies offering free rides on a rusted out Tilt-A-Whirl and wild panthers chasing feral hogs through a field of poppies.

Yeah poppies…

Anyway, that is just an example of what I mean by over thinking.  I think writing has been great for me and I’m happy with blogging as a means of connecting with other creative types, sharing photos from my travels and stories about people and places I love. I have to tell you though; I was wrong to think my BiG Fat Italian Anniversary trip was my reward for hanging in there for twenty years with my loyal follower. Nope. The trip was just a decoy. He had something else in mind.

Happiness is a new washer/dryer. Seriously?

Yep, now everyday is gonna be laundry day at Honie’s house! I could be wrong about that.

It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.~~Dale Carnegie

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27 Responses to Sometimes I’m Wrong

  1. Wyrd Smythe says:

    Yeah, your whole problem is clearly expressed in those two lead-off words, “I think….” Life can be a real suminabitch for those with that particular (and peculiar) affliction. As a fellow sufferer, you have my sympathy!

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    The worst is when the over-thinking occurs when you’re trying to fall asleep. And sometimes, I swear I’m thinking even when I’m supposedly dreaming–a part of me still seems with it and can’t shut my dang brain off. That’s why I’ve learned to do nothing mentally taxing an hour before bed. Otherwise that over-thinking, stimulated brain of mine won’t shut down.

    • Honie Briggs says:

      I have the exact same annoying condition. When I am asleep, ideas wake me up and demand to be written down or I cannot go back to sleep. Several years ago I had to stop watching the evening news. My husband is a news junkie, but now he gets it online so our TV is rarely on at night.

      • Carrie Rubin says:

        I can’t do news late at night either, but my downtime does consist of an hour of TV–one of my taped shows. I guess these don’t require much thought, and they’re a good form of escape, so it’s easier for me to get to sleep after.

  3. ldsrr91 says:

    Nice work, enjoyed it. Lifted your big red button too. Thought that was cool.

    DS

    • Honie Briggs says:

      So what you’re saying is that you liked my post AND that you stole from me. HA! Kinda like when my son took five dollars from my purse to buy a comic book, but also bought a Snickers bar for me. :) too funny!

  4. swlothian says:

    OMG! That washer and dryer look like they could take you to Mars Honie. Have a good trip ;)

    • Honie Briggs says:

      According to NASA Mars is no place for the faint-hearted. (kinda like my laundry room) Supposedly the Red Planet will challenge even the hardiest souls among us. (kinda like doing laundry does) Mars has crazy weather patterns and looms as the ultimate lonely destination. (exactly like a laundry room in Texas.) :)

  5. artsifrtsy says:

    Italy – smiltaly – that washer and dryer is the bomb! Congrats!!

    • Honie Briggs says:

      LOL! It doesn’t get any better.

      • artsifrtsy says:

        I haven’t owned a brand new washer and dryer since 1987 – i gotta get every last spin out of the ones I have – but man, those would make my washroom look awesome!

        • Honie Briggs says:

          The first washer/dryer I ever purchased was when my son was a baby. I was so happy not to have to lug clothes to the laundry mat anymore. My friend Donna went with me to Home Depot.
          A decade later when I complained that my laundry area was in our garage, she came to visit and painted a beautiful mural on the garage wall so I would have some “joy while I stood in the damn garage doing laundry.”

          • artsifrtsy says:

            I like that. Mine are in my bathroom – I don’t care for the location so I’m moving them soon. I bought a new set when I bought my first home and left it there a decade later when I moved across country. My new home had a basement that contained what I liked to call “The Laundry Museum” – rolling wash sinks, a wringer washer and an old old Maytag set from the 60’s that ran like clockwork. I couldn’t very well break up the museum when I moved south – so I inherited a Kenmore set from the 80’s – probably about the same age as the ones I first bought. They work so I keep em – but I dream of a shiny new set….someday, after these die.

  6. jmgoyder says:

    Oh I so love your blog!

  7. Peaches says:

    I hope I get even half of that at 20 years. lol

  8. iRuniBreathe says:

    Seriously, I think our washer and dryer may be the mainstay of my marriage. They are so pretty when they swish the clothes so gently, and the pedestals are so regal and the clothes — Oh! the clothes come out so clean. You’ve got it made.
    PS I’m also an over-thinker.

  9. Oh, I am so in on the new washer and dryer. Now if he gave me a vacuum cleaner, I’d be clubbing him over the head with it. ;-)

  10. Wait. You got the washer AND the dryer AND the thingies that go underneath them so you don’t no one has to sit on the floor to get the laundry out AND a trip to Italy? That is even better than “Let’s Make a Deal”, you didn’t have to trade anything in for the whole shebang!! And I just bet there are more things. Oh, yes. And I bet there will be chocolate. Oh, yes! The really good chocolate. Oh, yes yes yes!! (Ummm, he reads this, right?)

    Over thinking. Ha. Ha! Hahahahahahahaha! I left a message for a friend just a few minutes ago, “Call me when you have some time for diagramming my over thinking!” Now and again, I need someone else to jump in, or else the organ music ends up getting confused with the Girl Scout cookies, and mayhem happens. *gloats a little that I know that* Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

    And amen, Dale! :-D

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