Inanimate Discourse

Copyright-Melanie Greenwood

Copyright-Melanie Greenwood

“Some guy just tried to sit on me!”

“Well, you are a butt holder.”

“I am not! You’re the butt holders.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you got fake silver veneer!”

“Lame comeback, you chairs are all alike.”

“We might be lame, but you’re laminated.”

“Do you even hear yourselves? You don’t have the sense Samsung gave a flat screen.”

The table had the last word. A man passing by had heard everything. Not wanting to get dragged into their conflict, he kept walking, wondering, in a world with so many pressing problems to resolve, why must even the furniture be offensive?


It’s the Halloween edition of Friday Fictioneers, and what could be creepier than talking furniture? Check out this week’s stories here. Thanks for reading.

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